


Vows

by Theonewhosawitall



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: Chaos, Comedy, Dad pat, Dancing, Danger, Declarations Of Love, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Hen Do, Hospital, Injury, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Poetry, Pranks, Romance, Weddings, stag do
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-22
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-09 09:28:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18914185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Theonewhosawitall/pseuds/Theonewhosawitall
Summary: Stress can take its toll on any relationship. Stress about money, renovation and chaotic ghosts that only your wife can see, yknow, the usual stuff. But if you really love each other you can find the time to prove it.Which is just what Mike's planning to do.





	1. The Proposal

It had been a long year since Alison's accident, and it had been a lot of effort to get Button House in a state you could deem liveable. Finally spring had sprung again and it was finally feeling warm again. To celebrate a welcome break, Mike packed a picnic and dragged Alison to the edge of the lake to relax there. Mike let out a long relaxed sigh as the lake.

"This is nice. Just you and me. Alone. Feels like years since its been just us," Mike said.

Alison glanced at the ghosts lounging around on the ground around the couple. She smiled back at Mike.

"Yeah..." she said.

Kitty tapped her toes together happily, making her shows click. "We should have picnics out here every weekend! Its so peaceful!"

"Regrettably the buffoon has found the most romantic spot on the land," Thomas agreed begrudgingly.

The sky was a pastel gradient fading from pale blue to lilac and into soft pink with a gentle golden gleam warming it. The colours were cast across the lake, capturing the sky in the water. Warmed by the sky - and the red wine - Alison felt herself loosen up. She gave a contented sigh.  
Mike licked his lips nervously. He reached across the blanket to touch Alison's hand. Alison smiled at him warmly and linked her fingers through his. Mike gave a chuckle as he tried not to sound nervous. Alison hung her head back to look up at the sky. Mike gently eased the ring off of her finger. She looked down.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Just- just give me a second," Mike muttered.

"What is he up to?" Pat chuckled.

"It's not right to steal a lady’s jewellery!" Fanny tutted.

"We learnt that the hard way," Julian elbowed The Captain, grinning.

"Julian might have, I had nothing to do with that situation," The Captain lied sternly.

"You’re so full of sh- wha-a-at is he doing?"

Julian and the others watched suspiciously as Mike stood up. Even Alison seemed suspicious. Mike took a deep breath and blew it out nervously.

"Ok," he whispered to himself.

Mike knelt down onto one knee and held up Alison's engagement ring to her, as he had once before. Alison sat up in surprise. The ghosts all leapt up like their had received electric shocks.

"Oh my God! Oh my God!" Pat squealed.

"Mike what are you doing?" Alison asked.

Had Thomas's heart still been beating it would have been racing at this point. "What fresh hell is this?" He whispered.

"Get to your feet man, think of your dignity!" The Captain urged.

"Mike?" Alison's heart was beating harder, as hers was actually functional.

Mike raised his free hand to shush her gently. Alison sat up, glancing between him and the ghosts in alarm.

"Hear me out. I love you Alison. I know this years been tough what with trying to find a house, getting this place, trying to fix it up, the coma, the ghosts, that pigeon, your free pass coming into our home for the most frustrating day of my-"

"Mike, you’re rambling," Alison interrupted.

Mike paused, and then gave a nervous laugh. "Right, sorry. Its been rough. But through it all we've had each other. I want to show everyone - I want to show you, that despite everything, we're as strong as ever. Alison-"

Mike cupped Alison's hand in his. Alison's free hand moved up to cover her mouth in awe.

"Oh how romantic!" Kitty gasped.

"Oh dear God no!" Thomas breathed.

"Alison its a trap! Don’t do it, monogamy is a trap!" Julian cried.

"He didn’t ask me for my permission! The heathen didn’t ask me anything!" Fanny huffed.

"Alison, will you marry me? Again?" Mike asked solemnly.

Alison's eyes welled up as she laughed gently. The only one who was more breathless than either of them was Kitty, who was hyperventilating.

"Alison please!" Thomas cried desperately.

"JUST SAY YES!" Kitty screamed.

Not for the first time Alison ignored all of them. She lurched forward and yanked Mike into a kiss. Her hands cupped each of his cheeks and pulled him off balance so Mike instinctively reached out to hold onto her and stop himself falling.

Thomas felt his chest bursting hard enough to make him scream, "WHY MUST I ALWAYS BE SPURNNED!"

Julian blinked hard to try and ignore the ringing now in his left ear.

"HES HER LOBSTER!" Kitty screamed back.

"Ok," Julian grumbled as he reached for his right ear.

He regretted choosing to sit between the two most emotional of his fellow ghosts, despite the proximity of the wine.

"I'm gonna cry. I always cry at weddings. I’m gonna cry now too i think. Can ghosts cry?" Pat asked.

Robin shrugged cluelessly at him.

"Jolly good, congratulations to you both," The Captain gestured with his baton.

"I thought they already married," Robin said to Pat.

"They are Robin. This would be a renewal of their vows," Pat explained.

"What for?" Robin asked.

"To reaffirm their loyalties," The Captain said.

"Oh," Robin muttered.

He did not care as much as the others. Or at all. But he pretended to in order to feel a part of what was going on. Fanny leaned forward to where Mike and Alison were still kissing and tapped Alison's shoulder pointedly.

"I think I still have my view in the loft if you need it Alison," she said.

Kitty leaned forward too. "Can I be bridesmaid?!"

"Ooh, I's never beens a bridemaids before, can I?" Mary asked.

"Oh yes we can both be bridesmaids, together!" Kitty beamed.

"Well now, if this ridiculous situation is to go ahead, I say this calls for a stag do!" Julian declared

"What stag do? Is dangerous? Antlers dangerous," Robin said seriously.

Alison broke away from Mike and sighed in frustration. Even the ghosts from the plague pit didn’t plague her like these lot did. Mike nudged her gently.

"Is that a yes?" He asked.

Alison smiled. She wrapped her arms around his neck and laid her forehead against his.

"Of course I will. I love you," she smiled.

Mike grinned back. Thomas wailed as they kissed again. He leapt up and strode straight out into the depths of the lake.

"Oh honestly!" The captain huffed.

Julian leapt to his feet and rubbed his hands eagerly. "Alright then! Stag do! Come on Robin we've a lot to plan!"

Robin shrugged and followed Julian as he wandered back towards the house planning out loud all the while. The Captain followed, yelling at them to make sure they didn’t turn the house into a brothel.

"I'll get started on the cakes," Mary declared.

Kitty gasped eagerly, "oh yes the cake! I'll help!"

"We can't make cakes though Kitty!" Fanny stressed.

"Oh yes. Well it can't hurt to try can it?" Kitty beamed.

"Honestly!" Fanny huffed.

The girls wandered off anyway, leaving just Pat and Fanny by the lake. Pat smiled warmly and stood up. He held out a hand to Fanny.

"Come along Fanny. Lets give them some privacy," he said.

"It's unseemly for a lady - Oh thank you Pat," she paused as she took his hand and rose to her feet. She linked her arm through his as he walked her away from the lake side, "it is unseemly for a young lady to _fornicate_ outdoors! Married or not no Button could be so undignified -"

As her voice faded into the distance Alison and Mike were finally left alone. Fully alone. If you ignore Thomas attempting to drown himself by sulking at the bottom of the lake.  
The peace and tranquillity of early married life was already flooding back to them.


	2. Best Behavior

"Right well I've called the vicar, and he says he's willing to do a vow renewable but he’s only available either next week or in four months so, what should we do?" Mike asked.

He sat down beside Alison at the kitchen table and set his phone on top of it so he could lean his head on his hand. Fanny had long since given up yelling at him for having his elbows on the table but she still tutted disapprovingly.

"Well four months is a long time away. I'd quite to do it soon. D’you remember the build up to our wedding?" Alison asked.

"Not really, I just remember wondering what it would taste like if I licked the oven," Mike said.

"Because we were so stressed out about planning it that we kept forgetting to do things like cook or go shopping. We can’t go through that again. Not now," Alison said.

"Yeah but can we get everyone here for next week?" Mike asked.

Alison stared at him for a moment before repeating, "Everyone?"

"For the ceremony. Our family will be there right?" Mike said.

"Oh, did - did you want them to?" Alison sounded surprised.

"You don’t?" Mike asked, equally surprised.

"No, yeah, sure, I just mean... Well we have to share everything now whether we like it or not, I just thought this could be a private thing. Y’know, just you and me," Alison said. She paused. "And the vicar."

Mike chuckled, his hand naturally moving to touch hers. "That sounds perfect. I'll let them know."

He reached out to take his phone, blissfully unaware of Fanny pacing back and forth behind him ranting.

"A week?! A week is not enough time to plan a wedding! No, no, this will not do! Do _not_ tell them that you'll take next week!"

"Done," he tossed his phone back onto the table and sat back in his chair with satisfaction. "Its all booked. The vicar will be here next Thursday."

"I can not work with you people!" Fanny yelled.

She threw her arms into the air and stormed off through the bookcase. Alison watched her go. She was so distracted it took her a moment to register what Mike had said.

"Wait - here? You want to have the ceremony here?" She said.

"Well we can’t afford to hire anywhere else. Why, don’t you like that idea?" Mike asked.

"Well where will we have it?" Alison asked uncertainly.

"By the lake! You heard Thomas it is _the_ most romantic place on the land, and he would know!" Kitty declared.

"We can't do it by the lake Kitty," Alison said.

"The lake? That’s perfect!" Mike beamed.

"Is it?" Alison asked unconvinced.

"It is!" Kitty beamed with delight.

"Yeah, think about it! We'll set up a kind of archway to have the ceremony under, and hang some fairy lights around the trees, sip champagne under that big oak tree - and if it all goes well, we can add weddings to our business plan," Mike insisted.

"Maybe wait until we've got more staff for the kitchen before you go telling a bride we can cater for her entire wedding party Mike," Alison said dubiously.

Mike leaned forward, once again touching her hand, and said confidently, "Trust me, I'll make it work. Have I ever let you down?"

"How about the time you took out loans that locked us into this house while I was in hospital?" Alison asked.

Mike stood up and said, in a low voice, "It a rhetorical question," he bent down to kiss her forehead. "I'm gonna get started! I'm excited!"

"Don’t hurt yourself!" Alison called after him.

She stared at the door he had just hurried through. Mike was clearly excited about the plan but Alison couldn’t help feeling tentative now. Like maybe they needed to discuss it properly together. Right now it seemed like everyone else had plans but her.

"Alison?"

Pat's voice ripped through Alison's thoughts and made her jump. It had been harder recently to make her jump, much to Robin's annoyance, so Pat gave her an apologetic look.

"Hi Pat," she sighed.

"Are you alright?" He asked.

"Mmm. What's up?" She asked.

Pat took a sharp breath and began, eagerly, "Alison, I know its not a real wedding, but... well see, I didn’t get to go to my son's wedding, and I've come to see you as, well, as a daughter figure really, so I was wondering-"

Alison's jaw opened as she began to realise what he was getting at, and she raised a hand to stop him.

"Pat can I stop you right there? I've already been married once, and this one is really just for me and Mike-"

Pat's face was not great at holding back his real emotions. There was a gleam in his eyes that faded into disappointment, and his shoulders sagged slightly. Even so he forced himself to keep smiling.

"Right. No. Stupid idea. Yes, right. I understand. Its fine. It will be a beautiful wedding out there. The garden is lovely this time of year..." he trailed off, looking down sadly.

"I'll tell you what though Pat, since we've booked to have the ceremony in a week, I'm going to need some help to get everything together-" Alison began.

Once again Pat lit up. "Say no more, I'll make sure everything is prepared! I don’t know how since I can’t touch anything, but-"

"Pat, no, Pat, I just want you to make sure that all of you are on your best behaviour. I’m sure the Captain is going to make sure everyone knows what they’re doing, I just need you to make sure they don’t bring their squabbles to me," Alison said pointedly.

Pat shook his head and gave a wry chuckle, "I'm sure they wouldn’t do that at such an important time-"

The words had barely left his mouth when Thomas came rushing in through the back wall.

"Alison! Oh Alison! Tell Lady Button here that you are not remarrying that oaf next week!" He cried.

"Actually Thomas, I am," Alison said.

Thomas gripped the gunshot wound near his hip and staggered backwards as though he had been shot once again. He raised his chin high and kept his back straight, looking away dramatically. Alison raised her eyebrows at Pat who was wrinkling his nose uncomfortably.

"So you're going through with it?" Thomas squeaked; his voice tight with emotion. "Marrying the same man twice despite other- _better_ options being readily available?"

Thomas still refused to look in her direction as she nodded. In a completely deadpan tone she stated, obviously, "I'm going to marry my husband Thomas, I love him."

Thomas made his voice crack at the word, before shaking his head and taking a deep breath. "Fine. Fine! _Fine_!" He turned back to face her and held his hands behind his face. With some determination he vowed, "I have a week to prove to you that you’re making a mistake. I shall do so! I will not be cast aside again! Excuse me."

As he strode from the room Alison silently turned in her chair to give Pat a very pointed look. For a moment Pat contemplated what to say, repeatedly gesturing as if he had thought of something and then stopping himself before he did. Then he settled with his hands in his lap and met Alison’s gaze.

"Fair play. I'll do my best," he promised.

...

Julian circled the common room as he paced, all the while thinking aloud and hitting his knuckles into his palm to emphasise his point.

"The trouble with being dead is that we can't get drunk so the stag do is going to entirely rely on the horseplay." He chuckled in that way politicians sometimes do that gives you a sickly feeling there’s more to what they’re about to say that you really don’t want to know. "Y’know, that reminds me of the time-"

"Julian, no anecdotes please, we haven't got time," pat interrupted.

"No just a quick one! Its very funny, you see-" Julian let out a wheezy laugh said.

"No Julian! No time!" Pat repeated firmly.

"We're dead Pat, all we have is time," Fanny said.

Pat stood in the middle of the room to gather everyone together. Most of the others just sat up at attention from where they had just been lounging, but Kitty leapt to his feet so Mary stole her seat.

"Right everyone, meeting please, all gather. those who would like to be involved that is. Right, now the main headline today is the wedding! Yes, Alison has asked me to tell you guys that for the next week she doesn’t want to have to solve our problems. That means if anyone has any issues that arise, you should come to myself, or maybe the Captain-"

"What? No, I don’t care about your petty squabbles, oh no. I shall be ensuring that neither Julian or Robin allow this stag night plan of theirs to get out of hand," The Captain interrupted.

"You’re already on the invite list Captain, you just have to loosen up before the night, that's all we asked," Julian urged.

"And I told you it’s irresponsible to have a massive party with drinking and shenanigans the night before the wedding!" The Captain huffed right back.

"Pish posh, every great stag do happens the night before the wedding, its what makes the ceremony interesting!" Julian waved his hand breezily as if wafting all doubts away.

"Ok, now, see, this is exactly the kind of bickering that you need to avoid bothering Alison about, alright? Just for this week, bring your problems to me. I will be your Alison, alright?" Pat said.

He pressed both hands to his chest inadvertently, which made Julian snigger and mutter to The Captain about Pat having Alison's breasts. Pat snatched his hands away swiftly.

"You? You can hardly dream of bringing the light and enchantment that sweet Alison brings into each room with her Pat. You aren’t nearly as pretty," Thomas sniggered.

Pat's shoulders sagged, a little hurt. "Oh... I think I look alright. Even with the arrow... Where's Lady Button gone? Where’s Robin?"

Pat felt a sick sense of dread.

...

"If we have to do this in a week, we need to get the basic things out of the way first," Fanny declared.

"The basic things like what?" Alison asked.

She set her cup of tea on the table and folded her arms to pat attention to Fanny.

"Like the good luck poem," Fanny said firmly.

"The what?" Alison asked.

Fanny stopped pacing through the table to slam her hands on it.

"Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue, child!" Fanny said snippily, as though she was speaking to an idiot. "Now what will we be using for each?"

"Does it really matter? Its only a renewal, I'm fairly sure our luck is still in," Alison shrugged.

Fanny straightened up and held her hands to her chest. "What exactly in the last year would you consider lucky?"

"Well I was given a house when I was at the end of my tether looking for one," Alison said smugly.

"And after that?" Fanny asked.

Alison's smile faded as she recalled the events of the year. Even the lucky ones were ripped apart by bad luck or ghosts.

"Alright fair point. What do we need?" Alison asked.

Robin suddenly burst through the table wailing like a maniac so his head sat on the breakfast table as though it had been decapitated. Alison yelped as he did. Robin cackled.

"Ha, ha! Still got it!"

"We're discussing wedding plans you great ape! Get. Out!" Fanny spat.

"Wedding?" Robin turned on his knees so that his "decapitated" head was facing her now. "I can help. I help Julian with stag do. Get real stags!"

"Um, real stags where?" Alison asked.

Robin turned back to her. "Stag do for men. Secret."

Alison wished, not for the first time, that she had the ability to punch ghosts instead of just seeing and hearing them.

"Let him stay. Maybe we can find him something to do beside the stag do. Which reminds me, tell Julian that under no circumstances is he to throw a stag do!" Alison warned firmly.

"Ahh?! No fun," Robin grumbled.

"We will need!" Fanny began sharply to drag the conversation back to her. "Something old-"

"Plenty of that here," Robin said.

"Speak for yourself," Fanny said. "Something new-

"There’s plenty of that in here too," Robin gestured to the toaster.

"Something borrowed-" Fanny continued.

"That's not going to be easy to find," Alison sounded concerned.

"No one here to borrow from," Robin agreed.

"And something blue," Fanny finished.

"Ooh!" Robin leapt to his feet, "blue flowers in garden! Pretty! You use them?"

"Sure. That’s one down, plenty to go," Alison shrugged.

Fanny folded her arms as Alison took a long sip of her tea. "You are not taking this seriously."

"Fine. I'll wear my wedding dress, I think it's in one of my bags under our bed, that's something old. As for the rest of it, well I'll figure it out as we go," Alison shrugged.

"Honestly!" Fanny rolled her eyes to the heavens, wondering what went wrong in her family to lead them here. Then she let out a huff and moved on. "Fine. Now, flowers-"

"Robin can help you with flowers," Alison said.

"Ey?!" Robin demanded.

"You just said there were pretty flowers outside. Find me a bouquet from them," Alison said.

"But we can't touch-" Fanny began.

"Ask Julian to help you!" Alison said.

Well rather she called it back over her shoulder as she left the room. Fanny and Robin shared a look. Neither were the others first choice to pair with, but since they were stuck together, they were going to have to make do.


	3. Keeping Busy

Thomas practiced his poetry the way he hoped it would one day be read. By standing with one arm reaching towards the nearest light source, the other over his heart, and a voice quivering with feeling.

“I have never known pain such as this! A gunshot is less agony. Death is a blessing, compared to the ache in my heart, to see you marry another-”

"Who’s getting married?”

“Is someone getting married?”

"Aww I love a good wedding. So romantic ain’t it?”

Thomas was beginning to realise that coming to the basement to work was always – _always_ – a mistake. The plague pit was surprisingly well lit by the single bulb that they had to light the room, and cast fascinating shadows across the bare walls, which were deeply inspiring to him as a writing, but the company, well, they were something else.

"Would you like to come, its only upstairs in the gardens,” Thomas asked sarcastically.

"Of course, when is it?” one asked.

He rolled his eyes. they didn’t understand sarcasm much down here. "Thursday.”

"This Thursday?” another asked.

"No next Thursday,” he said.

"Oh no. No, no, we cant make it. we’re busy,” one of the women declared.

Thomas raised an eyebrow and scorned. “Busy?”

"Nigel's got a music recital, we cant miss that,” she said firmly.

Nigel leaned forward from the back of the pack to explain, "I've been listening to daddy singing in the shower through the pipes and I'm gonna whistle the songs for everyone.”

"Fabulous... now please, I am on the cusp of greatness," Thomas urged.

There was some minor muttering before finally they all settled down into silence to listen to his work. once again Thomas cleared his throat and raised his arm.

“Mine own, sweet Alison-”

"Is this Alison's wedding then?" Nigel asked.

"Yes!" Thomas stressed.

"Hold on, I thought Alison was already married," someone else said.

"She is. To daddy," another helpfully piped up.

"Then whys he writing her soppy poetry to stop her marriage?" the first asked scornfully.

"They are getting remarried, but this time I have the opportunity to save her from her misery by running away with me instead!" Thomas snapped.

"Except you can't leave the grounds. You wont be running very far away will you," one of the women jeered.

"If they go at all, from what we've seen she loves daddy very much," another said.

"Stop your incessant babbling I am trying to work!" Thomas shouted.

"Sorre-e-y!" they cooed.

The silence fell once again, and Thomas huffed impatiently in the calm. He opened his mouth to speak.

“If I was Daddy, I’m boff him one, straight on the nose,” Nigel said firmly.

“RIGHT!” Thomas huffed.

He leapt to his feet and stormed up the stairs and out of the basement. In doing so he accidentally barged straight into The Captain.

“watch where you’re going man!” The Captain began, and then he paused and reeled back in surprise when he saw the fury on Thomas’s face. “I say… what’s the matter with you then?”

Thomas huffed impatiently yet again. "I'm attempting to write a poem of such intricate beauty and pure heart that upon hearing it Alison finally opens her eyes and sees that Michael is not the one for her, but rather I am. I admit its a punishing mission, but I'm certain this time-"

"I cant help thinking you’ve gone down this road before though haven’t you?" The Captain said.

"I may have attempted to win fair ladies heart with pretty words before, but-" Thomas began sheepishly.

"Now look hear Thorne, when a mission is a failure you don’t go ploughing six dozen more men to the same fate. You regroup. Reassess the situation. You try new tactics. If your fancy poetry has failed again, try a different approach. Yes, action! That’s the key word here. Action man. Do you understand me?" The Captain asked.

Thomas blinked at him slowly. A plan was beginning to form. "I believe I do. Thank you sir. Youve been most helpful."

"Yes, I am rather," The captain agreed.

Thomas paused only to shake the Captain’s hand before hurrying off to find somewhere quiet to plan.

...

Robin tilted his head forward and back to examine the bouquet from multiple angles. Julian had ended up helping them. He had complained the whole time about needing to get on with the stag do though. Now there was a pile of flowers laying on top of each other on the wire garden table. The white wild flowers were gathered together into a bundle, tiny and delicate. Peeking out from between them was tiny blue forget me nots. Since they were heaped together there was no sense of display. It was all slightly wild and out of control. The green stems vastly outweighed the petals pretty colours.

Robin put his hands on his hips and huffed. "I don’t like it."

"What do you mean you don’t like it? You made it," Fanny reminded him.

"It needs something more. More colour, more buzz, more life!" Robin urged.

"Well what do you suggest?" Fanny asked.

A manic light grew in Robin's eyes as he grinned, "Wasps!"

"No!" Fanny said firmly. "No, No way! We are not having Alison walk down the aisle surrounded by wasps!"

"Why not? Is natural. Is colourful. Is full of life-" Robin began to argued.

"They are also full of stinging power! If she gets stung she could swell up and ruin the photography," Fanny countered.

"Well it need something to bring it to life!" Robin huffed.

Neither of them were willing to concede. It was definitely lacking something but they couldn’t agree on what so they couldn't agree on how to fix it.

Meanwhile Mary was following Alison into the garden, insisting, "But we need chickens-es for eggs! You cant make cake without eggs, silly bugger!”

“Mary these days people buy eggs from the supermarket. We don’t need chickens," Alison said firmly.

“but you can eat them for meat as well!” Mary insisted.

“No! They’re too much hassle and money!" Alison said firmly.

Mary stamped childishly. That’s when she turned to see where Robin and Fanny were arguing over a pile of weeds.

“What are you twos doings?” Mary asked.

“Making bucket,” Robin said.

“A _b_ _ouquet,”_ Fanny corrected.

“Is what I said!” Robin argued.

Mary wandered over close enough to see what they had. She looked at the mess of flowers and said, "You needs a ribbon to hold that together. a nice blue one, to match the flowers."

Fanny and Robin looked down at the flowers again. Robin mimed tying an imaginary ribbon around the stems to bind them together, and stepped back to examine it. Fanny frowned. She stepped forward and mimed tying the ribbon into a bow. Mary and Robin both gave her a bewildered look.

"What?" Fanny shrugged.

“She’s right. that’s exactly what this needs," Robin decided.

Fanny hummed thoughtfully before nodding. "Yes, I’ll tell Alison we need a ribbon immediately."

Fanny walked off in the direction that Alison had gone in. Robin then noticed Mary's disappointed expression. He nudged her.

“What matter? Why the long face?” he asked.

“Alison says we cant get chickens, even though we need eggs,” Mary explained.

“We have swans. Swans have eggs,” Robin said.

“Can you eats swan egg?” Mary asked uncertainly.

Robin shrugged. "I did. Didn’t do me no harm.”

Mary started at him for a moment and then nodded. "yes! Yes Robin, excellent idea! I’m going to find a swan egg!”

She hurried off towards the lake too, following both Fanny and Alison as she did so.

“good luck,” Robin called after them.

He looked back down at the pile of flowers. He mimed tying a bow like Fanny had curiously. He almost jumped out of his skin when Julian leaned out of the upstairs window to yell at him.

"Robin! Come here, we haven’t finished planning!"

Robin rolled his eyes and complained all the way back up stairs to the common room.  
...

Fanny caught up with Alison with ease. "Alison we need a blue ribbon."

"Yeah, yeah, go see if Kitty's got one," Alison said, trying to whaft her away dismissively

"But i cant touch them," Fanny said.

Alison waved her hand to stop her from talking, "Fanny, Fanny, look, I promise I will join you soon but right now I need to talk to Mike ok?"

"Fine. I will wait, but I will wait with Robin, and we all know how impatient he is!" Fanny warned.

Alison rolled her eyes. As if it wasn’t difficult enough to get the ghosts to behave themselves in a regular day, trying to deal with them while they were excited about planning a wedding renewal was like herding cats.  
That being said she choose not to question why Mary was now chasing swans across the lawn.  
Mike didn’t see Alison coming. He was blasting music from his laptop and hammering pieces of wood together. He didn’t hear her until she paused the music.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

Mike stood up and held out his arms to show off the wood he had nailed together. It was laying across the grass, six and a half foot long and a foot across. The wood was bare and the nails he was using to hammer the outside pieces to the top bar were at an angle that made them look messy.

"I’m building an arch. Its going to be a frame for us to stand under when we get married. Its going to be really romantic."

"It doesn't look very romantic," Alison said.

Mike's arms fell to his side, deflated. "I’m not finished yet."

Alison forgot why she had come to talk now. Just being out of this house, away from the ghosts, was enough to keep her out here though. Until the Captain appeared that is.

"Alison, Julian is turning this house into chaos! He has - what’s this?" He asked, gesturing to the wood.

"This, Captain, is the arch my husband has built for us to stand under to renew our vows," Alison said.

The Captain patrolled the edges of it, judging it as he went. Finally he swept his baton across it and shook his head.

"This simply wont do. This will not work," he declared.

"What? Why not?" Alison asked.

"Its not got supports," The Captain said.

"What’s wrong? Does he approve?" Mike asked eagerly.

"He says there’s no support," Alison said.

"It wont stand," the captain said.

"It wont stand," Alison repeated.

Once again Mike looked deflated. "Well, like I said, I'm not finished."

"You’ve only got a week. Are you sure you’ve got time?" The Captain asked.

A lightbulb appeared over Alison’s head. Well not really. Although if it had it wouldn’t have been the weirdest thing that she had experienced this week.

"You seem to know a lot about this whole, building... DIY... type I dunno what this counts as, but if you know about it why don’t you supervise?"

"You want to put me in charge?" The Captain asked in surprise.

"Well, as the ranking officer-" Alison began.

"Excuse me!" Mike interrupted indignantly, "Are you putting a ghost in charge of me? Am i not even my own boss in my own house for my own vow renewal now?"

"No," The Captain stated.

"You’re always in charge babe. Except for when it matters," Alison promised affectionately.

Mike nodded slowly. "Alright. Fair. But he’s not telling me what to do!"

"I don’t think you’re fully comprehending this situation," Alison said.

"Right!" The Captain declared, "lets fix this mess!"

Alison wandered away from the situation. She paused underneath the oak tree to look out over the house.

The Captain was out with Mike, Kitty and Mary were busy in the kitchen, Julian was being dragged around like a ragdoll and forced to work for the greater good (horrible for a conservative) by the others, Thomas was lord knows where but out of the way, Robin and Fanny were hunting for a ribbon, and Pat was doing his best to keep an eye on everyone.  
With them all occupied Alison finally had five minutes peace to read her magazine alone in the library.

Unfortunately it took longer than five minutes to get to the library.

“Alison!” Pat panted, red in the face (well, redder), “Alison I tried to stop them, but Fanny and Robin have been going through you things and they’ve upset kitty and they say they’re looking for a ribbon but neither of them-"

“Pat, Pat, its ok, I told them to find a ribbon. I really don’t think there is one in the house. That should keep them occupied for a while,” she winked.

Pat froze as this information sank in. Alison chuckled as she slipped past him and strolled off towards the library. As he finally understood what she had done, he grinned and chuckled to himself, muttering about how clever she was. Pat was very proud.


	4. Stags

Thomas wrinkled at nose disapprovingly at the pile of flowers that Fanny was fussing over. She had made Alison bring them inside and put them into a vase to prevent them from dying. She still hadn’t found them a ribbon, or tried, but Fanny had found a beautiful blue silk ribbon that Kitty wasn’t going to let her use it, which put her in a bad mood before Thomas arrived.

“If you are trying to capture the beauty of Alison’s eyes in these flowers you have sorely misjudged their colour!” Thomas scorned.

“We are following tradition Thomas, not your misplaced affections,” Fanny said sharply.

“But to be blessed enough to see her eyes makes you feel urged to pluck out your own as they could never compare to-“

“Her eyes blue," Robin interrupted bluntly.

Thomas glared at him. "What?”

“Kim Wilde’s eyes. They blue,” Robin repeated.

“No Robin, they’re green,” Thomas said impatiently.

“They blue!” Robin insisted.

“They are the colour of freshly grown grass-" Thomas began.

“THEY BLUE!” Robin would have slammed his fist on the table but it just went straight through.

Thomas gave him the same disdainful look that he had given all of the others at one point or another. Robin glowered at him furiously.

“Not that it matters, because we’re following tradition, and tradition states we need _blue_!” Fanny said firmly.

“Her eyes are blue!” Robin said stubbornly.

Pat came rushing through the doorway into the room urgently. He looked like a wound up toy that had just been allowed to judder manically where it pleased.

“what’s all this shouting guys? Don’t let Alison hear you, I told her-"

“What colour are Alison’s eyes Pat?” Thomas asked pointedly.

The tension released from Pat's tight shoulder enough to huff, but he kept his cool. "Oh for – Does it matter?!”

“ _Blue_! Robin shouted.

“Green!” Thomas argued.

“You want some?!” Robin yelled.

He lurched forward to go for Thomas who tried to play up to it but kept his distance, hovering by the door just in case. Lady Button shouted in irritation about how immature they were being, but made no effort beyond that to keep them apart. Pat however leapt in between them to hold them both back, just like he had been trained to do when dealing with the Scouts when he was alive. Mind you their fighting would always prove more fatal than the ghosts.

"I can take you, right here, right now!" Robin roared.

“Hold on boys, hold on! There’s no need for fisticuffs, we can settle this peacefully!” he urged.

“if you’re challenging me to a duel sir-" Thomas began.

“well we all know how that will end,” Fanny scoffed.

“Now Lady! I have never been so-" Thomas began.

When Fanny began to argue back Robin kept getting between her and Thomas so he would have a clear path if he had to attack Thomas. The noise grew and none of them would listen to Pat as he tried to get them to be quiet at a reasonable level, so he snapped.

" _ **BUTTON OUR LIPS**_!"

Pat yelled at the top of his lungs. His voice reverberated around the room in a way that took the others by surprise. Even Mary - who was still hunting for swan eggs - looked up at the sound. Silence swept the room. They just stared at the red faced scout troupe master in surprise.

"Right! That’s better! Now!" Pat said sharply as he regained his composure. "Why don’t we all just take a deep breath and just calm down-"

In the calm of the moment Robin saw his opportunity and threw himself across the room like a panther to tackle Thomas to the ground. He went down like a sack of potatoes. Thomas wriggled to escape but Robin pinned him down by sitting on top of him. Between the yelling from Pat and Fanny and Thomas's screaming, Alison walked in to find out just what was going on.

She gasped as she watched Robin reel his arm back to punch Thomas, almost hitting an old white vase on the windowsill behind them. Without thinking she yelled, "WATCH THE VASE!”

The new voice snatched the attention of the ghosts. All of them froze and then instantly leapt to their feet like naughty school children scrambling to pretend they weren’t being naughty when the teacher came in.

“Alison!” Thomas breath gratefully. Then he paused as he recalled what she had said when she found him pinned to the ground about to be beaten. Mildly hurt he repeated, "The vase?"

Alison ignored him and glared at the others. “what is going on here?!”

When she looked at Robin, he squinted to get a better look at her eyes. Then he pointed triumphantly and cried, "Ha! See? Is Green!”

“ _I_ said they were blue! GREEN!” Thomas corrected himself, cursing.

Robin snickered smugly as Thomas burned with fury. Alison folded her arms and gave him a stern look. When Robin saw it his face fell like a naughty school boy again.

"A bigger boy made me do it," he lied instinctively.

At that Pat crumbled. “I tried to stop them Alison, I'm really sorry! I didn’t think it would get this far and-"

Alison held up a hand to shush him gently. In a soothing tone she said, “Its alright Pat, I'm sure you tried."

"I did. I really, really did!" He promised.

"What’s this about?" Alison asked Thomas.

He stammered awkwardly. "Well, um, I was just offering my opinion on the details of the bouquet. I just think you deserve nothing less than perfection. Even in the groom. Which doesn't necessarily mean Mike-"

“Thomas," Alison interrupted. In a firm but gentle tone she explained, "Robin and Fanny are in charge of flowers. If they say we have blue, we have blue. Now, did you find that ribbon?”

“Regrettably not. We did ask Kitty, and she showed us her ribbon collection-" Fanny began.

Thomas and Robin groaned. Alison had somehow managed to avoid this particular presentation of Kitty's but only by the skin of her teeth each time.

“She’s not willing to give up her blue one because it was her mothers,” Fanny finished.

“Something borrowed, perfect - Kitty?!” Alison called at the top of her voice.

If you’ve ever had the privilege of befriending an animal, you likely know the sound of scampering as it races across the house to get to you when you call their name. If you were Alison, you'd think Kitty well named for that habit. She beamed at Alison brightly.

"Yes best friend in the whole world?!" She asked breathlessly.

"Kitty can we please borrow the blue ribbon from your collection?" Alison asked.

Kitty's face fell. "My mamas ribbon? But that was my mamas."

Alison was slightly taken aback by kitty's reluctance. She was usually the first to volunteer anything of hers, especially to Alison.

"I promise you that you will get it back. I only want to borrow it," Alison said.

"Will you keep it safe? Its very old and I'm worried it might break," Kitty said softly.

"I absolutely promise you that it will be safe. All it has to do is hold these flowers together, see? It wont ever leave my hand until it's back in your display case," Alison promised.

"Do you absolutely best friend pixie promise?" Kitty asked.

"I do," Alison nodded.

Kitty held out her pinkie finger in a crooked hook for Alison to prove it. Alison was reluctant to touch Kitty - or any of the ghosts really - for fear of hurting her, but she hooked her finger the same way. She tried her best to make it look like their fingers were linked without touching her, and Kitty bounced with renewed excitement.

"Oooh alright! Its in my bedroom. _Ooh_ , and while we're there I can show you my whole collection!" She gasped eagerly.

Alison’s eyes widened in horror. "Ooh, yeah, maybe, but, um - Thomas and I were going to go for a walk around the rose garden after I tied to ribbon to the flowers-"

"We were?" Thomas asked in surprise.

"Yes, we were," Alison said sternly, "so, another time maybe?"

Kitty frowned. "Do you absolutely pinkie promise that too?"

To try and save Alison some face and soothe the tantrum that appeared to be rising in Kitty, Pat stepped forward and laid a hand on her arm to get her attention.

"Id love to see your collection again Kitty. Its... fascinating," he lied so sweetly.

Kitty beamed at him instantly. "Oh goodie gumdrops! Its this way! Come, come!"

She hitched up her skirts and went hurrying off towards her bedroom. Alison's chest eased with relief.

"Thanks Pat," she smiled gratefully.

Pat winked back. They didn’t want to keep Kitty waiting so they wandered off on the path to her room that they knew perfectly, despite Kitty constantly calling directions back to them to make sure they didn't get lost. Robin, Fanny and Thomas did not follow.

"I needed outside. You got this?" Robin asked Fanny.

"Yes, yes, go, I'll handle this," Fanny said freely.

Robin nodded. He jogged off out into the gardens with one thing on his mind. Stags.

Now alone with Fanny and utterly unaware of the blazing fury running through her (more than usual anyway) Thomas turned to speak to her, sharply, about what she had said to him earlier.

"Lady Button, I withstand that your comments-"

No one saw Fanny throw a punch straight into Thomas's jaw with enough force to knock him to the floor, but he insisted it happened. However with no ability to form bruises, neither he nor Fanny had evidence to prove she did. Which she denied anyway. But Thomas was throwing up such a fuss that Pat had to step out of Kitty's room to try and smooth things over before Alison heard them bickering.

"Honestly Thomas, Lady Button is a _lady_. She would never punch someone like that," Pat insisted.

"I would never behave with such vulgarity," Lady Button stated calmly.

"But-" Thomas squeaked indignantly.

"No that's much more Mary's thing," Pat nodded.

Thomas felt like a coil that was so tightly wound he was fit to explode. The barbs were at the tip of his tongue. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth. Then Alison opened the door. She stopped in surprise to see the tree of them staring at her.

"What's going on?" She asked slowly.

"Nothing," they lied as one.

Alison eyed them suspiciously before deciding it wasn’t worth the hassle to know. Instead she hurried back down to the vase of wildflowers that Robin and Fanny had spent hours nagging Julian into organising for them, so she could tie the ribbon around them. Even though the ribbon felt sturdy and strong even after all this time, Alison didn’t risk tying any tighter than absolutely necessary before doing her best to tie a bow. It ended up lop sided, but it looked cute anyway.

"Alison?" Thomas asked, at her shoulder.

She gasped. She had been so busy admiring the bow she didn’t realise he had followed her.

"What’s wrong now?" She sighed.

"You said you wanted to walk though the rose garden with me," he reminded her.

"Did I?"

"You did."

"Oh. Well I didn’t -" Alison paused as she remembered something that Mike had said to her that morning before they got out of bed. "Actually maybe you can help me... lets do it."

Thomas beamed gleefully. He stepped to her side and held out an arm for her to take.

"May I?" He asked.

Alison looked at his arm, and then at his grin, and then back at his arm. She had struggled not to touch Kitty, and that was just their fingers. This was not happening.

"Um, no. No I don’t think so. Lets just walk normally," she said.

Thomas's face fell for a moment, but just being by her side was enough. And in the rose garden! The second most romantic spot in the grounds! His smile returned with ease.

"Normally it is then!" He agreed.

...

Robin had leaned from hunting in his lifetime to round up things, so at times it came back to him instinctively. Especially when people wont moving fast enough for him. He kept running back from where he wanted to go to make sure Julian was still following.

"JULIAN! JULIAN COME SEE! COME SEE! COME!"

He ushered him along eagerly to the edge of the land boundary. He stood up on the metal fence and pointed eagerly at the next house's grounds. Julian looked out over the fence lazily.

"What am I looking at Robin?" He asked.

"There." Robin pointed.

Julian leaned to look down along Robin's arm to see where he was pointing. In the distance they could see a herd of deer sheltering in the shade of a large tree.

"Oh I see! Deer!" Julian realised. His eyes lit up, " _stags_!"

Robin nodded and grunted eagerly. Julian grinned as the cogs in his mind started whirling and plotting. Then he looked down along the length of the fence. His face fell.

"Oh but they’re on the neighbouring land. how do we lure them over here?"

"Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, we get uh, uh, a thingy, and it goes burgh and we-" what followed was Robin making multiple grunting and unintelligible noises while waving his arms and miming what looked like a bear attack. Finally he fell back and grinned eagerly at Julian.

"Yes, or maybe, no. I’m gonna go with no," Julian said slowly.

Robin's shoulders sagged. "Fine Mr Smart-No-Pants! What do we do?"

Julian frowned at him, "do you mean Mr Smart _y_ no pants?"

Robin's hand twitched. Julian hadn’t heard about Robin attacking Thomas yet and wasn’t aware he should consider himself lucky not to be hurt then and there.

"What we do?!" Robin repeated firmly.

"Let me see...." Julian said thoughtfully. He looked around slowly to try and see if there was anything around that could help them. Then he spotted a security floodlight between the trees. "Ah! Perfect! I've got an idea, but I need your help."

...

Fanny had done her utmost best to keep the rose garden as beautiful as it was when she was alive. That was difficult given that no one could see or hear her before Alison, but she had drilled that desire into her children and her grand children had. The white petals bobbed gently in the breeze, as if bowing to them as they passed by. The breeze curled across Alison's skin gently, brushing through her hair and tickling her softly. She wandered along the pathway beside Thomas as he felt butterflies resurrecting themselves in his stomach.

"Alison... are you really going to go through with it?" He asked.

"Yeah probably," Alison shrugged before asking, "Go through with what?"

"Marriage. To him," Thomas gestured vaguely towards the lake.

"To my husband? Well I've done it once before so, yeah, sure, why not?" She smirked.

"Please forgive my petulance Alison, but _why_?!" Thomas stressed desperately. "The man is a buffoon! He’s an oaf! He’s an - an - an ape!"

Alison stopped dead in her path and swirled to glare at Thomas. The look of rage in her eyes was enough to strike fear into his chest.

"That’s crossing a line Thomas!" She spat. "The only ape here is - well robin, but the only buffoon is - well... Anyway If you don’t want to help me express my feelings then fine, don’t, but don't insult Mike! He’s a good guy. You never even gave him a chance so you don’t get to judge him."

Alison was so sharp and looked so angry that Thomas instantly backed down. He staggered backwards and stared down at his feet, ringing his wrists sheepishly as he did.

"I... apologise... you’re right. I didn’t give him a chance..." he said softly. "W-what can I do to make it up to you?"

Alison softened slightly. Slightly. "Its not me you have to make it up to. But I do need help with these vows. When Mike said he wanted to renew them I thought we'd just repeat what we said last time. Apparently he’s written a whole new speech bless him, but I struggled last time and now..."

She trailed off with a sigh and ran her hand through her hair. She didn’t look so fierce when she was worrying. Thomas took a shaky breath and swallowed his pain with his heart ache.

"I will write you some verse," he said quietly.

Alison looked up at him hopefully, "Really?"

Thomas tried not to look as hurt as he felt. "f it will make you happy, it would be an honour."

Alison's shoulders fell as she sighed a breath of relief. "Thanks Thomas. That would be really helpful." Thomas couldn’t help smiling back when she gave him that melting smile of hers. His smile died when she added, "Now bugger off, I need to help mike."

...

"This not gonna work."

"It's a flawless plan, with absolutely no chance of failure Robin! Nothing could possibly go wrong. Now get on with it!"

Julian's plan was simple. If they couldn’t leave their land but Robin needed to get closer to the light to have any affect on it, then they would have to expand the land they were on. By knocking down the fence, their property stretched that much further over the barrier. In theory. Which was why Robin was going to test it.  
Tentatively, Robin stepped onto the wooden plank laying on the grass. He edged along it cautiously. When nothing happened, he grinned. He took a fell step forward, and slammed straight into an invisible wall. Slamming into it sent same sickening sensation that being walked through, through Robin. He shuddered and backed away to the safety of their property.

"It not work," he said.

"Mmm well I did have my doubts if I'm honest," Julian said, unhelpfully "but don’t worry!" he put a hand on Robins shoulder and grinned, "I have a plan b!"

Robin immediately doubted its effectiveness, but if a stag do needed stags, he was going to be the one to supply them!

...

The "arch" Mike had built was still three planks of wood nailed into a rectangular shape. It didn’t look any more stable than it had last time Alison examined it. However there were now also metal hooks hammered into the ground to form a kind of path up to where Mike was planning to raise the arch. Alison nudged one curiously.

"How much did these cost?" She asked.

"Nothing. They were free," Mike said, proudly.

"Where’d you find them?" Alison asked.

Mike looked less proud. "Um, you know that construction site down by the bridge? The one with a bunch of hooked metal spikes holding up the plasticky mesh fence thingy?"

"Yeah?" Alison said uncertainly.

"The fence fell down," Mike lied.

"Before or after you took the hooks?" Alison asked.

" _Borrowed_! I'll give them back. They can be our something borrowed!" Mike urged.

"But I just borrowed Kitty's mothers ribbon to be our something borrowed!" Alison stressed.

"Babe, most of what we own is borrowed, I wouldn’t worry about it," Mike pointed out.

Alison sighed. "Yeah well so far the only thing we have that can count as our something new is this! Are you sure this will stand?"

"Of course. Gimme a hand to lift it and I'll show you!" Mike grinned.

The Captain returned from scolding Julian for dismantling the fence to find Alison and Mike heaving the arch up into the holes Mike had dug into the ground as a foundation. He stood to attention to watch, and wait. Alison kicked the dirt into the hole to stabilise the arch like Mike told her to. Then they both let go, albeit gingerly, to step back and examine it. For a moment it stood still, as if it were ready for Thursday. Then it slouched. Then it fell to the ground with a loud thud as Mike grabbed Alison to yank her back and out of the way.

As Alison got her breath back, she gave Mike an unimpressive look. "Well you sure showed me."

"I think it needs another nail," Mike scratched the back of his head uncertainly.

The Captain puffed his chest out like an angry bird and stormed over shouting, "No man! I told you It needs _brackets_ for Gods sake! Brackets!"

"Have you tried brackets?" Alison asked Mike.

He looked up at her and tried not to look as clueless as he felt. "What are brackets?"

"Give me strength - those are brackets!" The captain shouted.

He pointed sternly at a bent piece of metal that was laying on the grass beside the toolbox Mike was using. Alison bent down to pick it up. She showed it to The Captain with a questioning look. He nodded urgently.

Alison held it out to Mike. "These things."

"Oh right," Mike sounded impressed. He took it from her and turned it in his hand with interest. "How do they work again?"

Alison frowned dubiously. "Are you sure you can handle this?"

"Sure. Your ghostly friend hasn’t been much help-" Mike smirked making The Captain stammer indignantly, "But I'm making it work."

Alison smiled warmly and nodded. "Of course you are. I have complete faith in you." Then she stepped over to the captain and said, at the same volume, "if he hurts himself will you let Pat know?"

"I'm not gonna hurt myself!" Mike insisted.

"Why is Pat commanding officer all of a sudden?" The Captain demanded.

"He’s not," Alison said firmly, "No ones above you, he’s just a large fish in a different pond that you need to get messages to so they can get to me."

The captain squinted in confusion. "What?"

“That doesn’t make sense," Mike said.

"Yeah I kind of zoned out while talking..." Alison admitted. She turned back to Mike. "anyway, about these vows-"

"Yeah, I thought it a bit more, and I just think it would be nice if we updated what we said a bit Y’know? a lot has changed since we last had to write them so it would be fun to see how far we've come right?" Mike said.

"You’re so right. You're just... so write. Writing. Right now. I need to go do some writing right now so I'll be off guv'nur!"

Alison put on an accent and poked out her elbows to mock herself. Mike frowned.

"Wait - What are you panicking about?" He asked.

"I’m not panicking!" She lied.

"Babe, I know you. You always go cockney when you’re panicking. What’s wrong?" He asked.

"I just... I-I-I-" Alison’s stammered.

"Hey, hey come here!"

Mike pulled Alison in gently to wrap his arms around her. Alison ended up pressed against his chest so he rested his chin on top of his head.

Gently he tried to soothe her, saying "come on, you know you can tell me anything. What’s up?"

"I’m just nervous about writing vows. You’re right, we’ve come a long way and there’s a lot to say about things and I just... I'm not sure how to express how grateful I am that were still together," Alison said, slightly frantically.

"What, spilt up the dream team? Nah, nothing could do that," Mike laughed.

"Not for lack of trying," The Captain muttered.

"You’re right," Alison breathed. "I love you too much to let it."

"Love you too," mike said. He kissed the top of her head and gently pushed her off of him, "Now you go write, and I'll put the bracket thingy onto the thingy."

"Don’t hurt yourself," She warned.

"Would I ever?" Mike winked.

"I’ve seen you hit your own thumb nail with the hammer multiple times now. Its the wrong nail, realise that!" The Captain snipped.

Alison chuckled at how frustrated The Captain was getting. She stopped to watch the two of them for a moment or two, which was fortunate because Mike couldn’t hear the screaming.  
Julian and Robin were running at top speed straight towards them.

"RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Julian yelled.

"RU-U-U-U-U-UN!" Robin roared.

"What in the devils name-" The Captain turned.

"ARGH!" Alison screamed, "MIKE!"

Mike looked up to see a stampede of deer racing straight towards him. His eyes widened and he instinctively began running too. Alison watched in horror as the tide of deer sprinted in front of her, separating her from Mike like a brown tidal wave. Fascinated, the other ghosts trailed out to see just what was going on now. They were just as shocked to see the deer as Alison and Mike.

The stags thundered straight at them with their antlers angled low. They seemed so much larger and so much sharper from this angle. Not that Mike stuck around long enough to get a good look. The moment he saw them he went dashing as fast as his legs could carry him to the nearest tree. He couldn’t get a good grip though because his hands were wet with sweat. Fortunately for him the mortal fear pulsing through Julian gave him the ability to shove Mike up the trunk and to the bottom branch. Mike latched on and hauled himself up onto it. Julian leapt up after him, dragging himself to the safety of the branch.  
The branch that Robin couldn't touch.  
Robin couldn’t climb trees. He couldn’t even touch them. His hand passed straight through the trunk. Robin spun around to see the deer racing closer and let out a blood curdling scream...  
However the deer were not perturbed by the lake as they had expected them to be. Instead of splitting around the edge and thundering past the tree, the herd ploughed straight in and threw water up over themselves and the others behind them.

Bewildered, the captain walked through the deer’s and out the other side, beside Alison. Alison continued to stare as The Captain gagged at the sensations. They watched as a dozen or so deer trampled out the other side of the lake and leapt gracefully over the next fence and onto the next property.

Whoever those deer had belonged to were going to have to travel some distance to track them down.

As soon as the madness was over and there was a beat to realise she wasn’t injured, Alison raced to the tree where her husband was clinging desperately for his own safety.

"MIKE!" She cried anxiously, "Mike are you ok?!"

Mike gripped the tree, wide eyed and panting in terror. His voice trembled as he said, "Y-y-yeah..."

The ghosts gathered in the kitchen as Alison set a mug of tea in front of Mike. She ran her hand over his arm and sat down so close to him that their knees touched. Her heart was still racing at the near risk.

"I felt like Simba Alison.... I'm never going to be able to watch that movie the same way again..." Mike breathed.

"What were they running from?" Pat wandered.

"I don’t know, we don’t even have deer on Button land, we haven’t for years!" Fanny said.

"Something must have spooked them," Mary said.

"Spooked them? Like what?" Thomas asked.

"I have no idea," Julian lied.

None of the others noticed how quickly Julian answered. None but The Captain. He glanced over at him suspiciously.

"Maybe they saw Humphrey," Mary said.

From the laundry basket at the other side of the room, Humphry’s head called, "Oi! I heard that!"

"To be fair Humphrey you do tend to strike fear into more people than any of the rest of us," The Captain said.

"Its not my fault I don’t have a head! Or a body... I am the head..." Humphrey said.

"Humphrey couldn’t have scared them. If we don’t have deer on these grounds, none of us lot could have done anything to spook them," Pat pointed out.

"Yes that’s true, isn’t it Robin?" Julian said.

"Uh yeah, very true," Robin grunted.

At least Robin had the considered to look ashamed, even as Julian tried to blag his way out of this. The Captain raised an eyebrow when Robin met his eye. Robin looked away.

"How strange! I guess We'll never know for sure what happened," Julian continued.

"Well I'm glad you’re ok Michael, it must have been terrifying," Kitty said seriously.

Alison smiled softly to her. She cupped Mike's hand. "Kitty says she’s glad you’re ok Mike."

"Oh, um, thanks Kitty... I guess..." mike said uncertainly.

He wasn’t sure how to react to the knowledge that the ghost he couldn’t see of a woman he’d never met was glad he was ok. If he wasn’t so shaken up he would have been touched.

"You’re welcome! I'm so relieved the wedding is still on, I was terrified id never be a bridesmaid!" Kitty grinned.

Alison chose not to add that. She turned her head to look at the ghosts that packed out the little room. "Maybe you could give us some space? Just so we don’t get crowded?"

"As you wish," Thomas nodded.

Pat ushered them all out of the doorway in one direction so Robin and Julian slipped out of the other door so they could form their alibi. They were hurrying down the corridor whispering urgently to each other, which caught the Captain's attention. It didn’t take much effort to put two and two together.

"You two! Halt!" He called.

Both of them skidded to a stop, and shared an urgent look. Robin span around first.

"Julian made me do it!" He exclaimed.

Julian gasped in offence and spun around too. "Grass!"

"So it was you two," The Captain said in a accusatory tone. He folded his arms as he stepped towards them. "Well, these shenanigans are no longer going to be tolerated, you almost killed Michael!"

"You said you wanted to get rid of them," Julian pointed out.

"If they die here we'll never be rid of them. Now, I assume this was something to do with the stag do?" The captain stated.

The two of them shared another look and Robin looked down sheepishly.

"Well the stripper couldn’t hear me down the phone, even after the effort I put into calling them," Julian said.

"Right, then that's how you'll be punished," The Captain decided. He went on to explain, "I wont tell Alison- there's no need for the rest of us to bare the brunt of her anger if she found out one of us did this - but I’m taking over the stag do."

Julian's mouth gaped in horror, "What?! But-"

"Ah, ah, no buts! Unless you want to tell Alison what you did, I will now be in charge of the stag do, is that understood?" The Captain asked sharply.

Robin immediately nodded. Julian huffed and folded his arms sulking. "Oh fine."

...

Alison stared at Mike as he got up and reached for his jacket.

"What do you mean you have to get back to work?! You’re not going back out there?!" Alison urged.

"Ally I've been waiting to re-marry you for months, I don’t want to have to re-plan for three months from now. Who knows what could happen by then!" Mike said seriously but calmly.

"But you’re going to get hurt!" Alison insisted.

"I'll be fine. What's the chances of them coming back?" Mike leaned down to kiss her forehead. "I love you."

"I love you too," Alison said helplessly. Then she added, "Be careful!"


	5. Hens

Exhaustion racked Alison when Kitty woke her up on the Wednesday before the ceremony.

"One more day!" Kitty informed her giddily.

Alison groaned. She rolled over to reach for Mike. Mike was not there though. She lifted her head to look for him. A surge of alarm ran through her.

"Mike's gone to put the finishing touches on the garden. Julian's gone with him. He's been talking about pranks all morning. Don’t worry, The Captain and Pat are making sure they don’t get up to any mischief. I think today is going to be a very good day!" Kitty explained.

Alison dropped her head back against the pillow with a sigh. "Can it be a very good day later?"

"But we've got a surprise for you!" Kitty insisted.  
Alison turned her head to look at Kitty, but still on the pillow. "A surprise? For me? What is it?"

"Its a surprise silly! Come on, its in the common room!" Kitty beamed.

She leapt to her feet, hitched up her skirt, and skipped out of the room. Alison laid still for a second and silently debated staying here and going back to sleep, or following Kitty to find out what they were up to. Eventually the unsettling quiet of the house made her get, up just to check nothing was on fire.  
When she wandered into the common room she recited a chorus of good mornings from the girls, but none of the boys were in sight, which didn’t settle her sense of concern.

"The gentlemen have left for their "stag do" so we ladies have decided to throw you a "hen do". Am I saying those things right?" Fanny checked.

"Um, yeah, yeah. Y'know traditionally hen nights don’t start until much, much later," Alison said.

"Yes, and they’re also drunken and rowdy. This will not be like that." Fanny said.

Bleary eyed and half asleep Alison didn’t think before asking, "What, fun?" Which won her a scornful look.

"Julian doesn't know many hen do games, so we asked him to check the internet for what they have to say-" Kitty began.

"Look, if you don’t mind, I'm kind of tired, I was up until two vanishing the banister and pulling down that curtain for mike, id really like to get some sleep," Alison said.

"But we've been waiting hours for this!" Kitty whined.

"I haven’t, I just gots here," Mary added.

"But I - oh whatever, fine. What are we playing?" Alison sighed.

"Oh joy!" Kitty beamed.

"Wes though we'd start off with, truth or dare!" Fanny sounded each syllable of the name clearly, and then chuckled to herself, "although the game caused quite a stir when I would play as a girl."

"But none of you lot can do dares," Alison said.

"No, but we can tell many truths," Mary offered.

"I for one have never told a lie," Fanny lied, smugly.

"Alright then. Hold on," Alison said.

She walked off to the kitchen to find the bottle of prosecco that they had brought yesterday to celebrate tomorrow. She had brought a small bottle of wine at the same time and didn’t drink it with dinner like she planned (because that was the moment Mike decided he needed lace so the curtain would have to come down) so she might as well drink now. she returned with the open bottle and no glass, much to Fanny’s dismay.

"Right! Shall we start with you, Lady Button?" Alison grinned.

"Go on then, I've nothing to hide," Fanny said.

"Why did you marry your husband?" Alison asked.

"Oh that's simple. He was the richest gent in the land, with the finest house in the county," Fanny said calmly.

"Bull, why'd you marry him?" Alison repeated.

Fanny frowned in confusion. "I just told you dear, because his money meant security-"

"Bull, why did you marry him?" Alison repeated.

"Because he was a gentleman Alison-"

"Bull! Why did you marry him?!"

"Because- because - because... well because, to use your vernacular, he was... well... dishy!" Fanny admitted.

She looked embarrassed about it, but the moment she told them the others burst into giggles and Fanny couldn’t help joining in. Deep down all four of them were still teenage girls eager to gossip about boys and love and all the stuff that came with that.

"Now we're cooking, who’s next?!" Alison beamed.

...

"And to this day that stain is on the ceiling of the Eton dorm room!" Julian finished proudly.

"How vulgar," The Captain said.

"I had a brother in law who went to Eton. He used to tell us such stories about the place at Christmas that it would make your eyes bulge," Pat said.

"Yes, Eton is a magical place. There's no rules, well not if you can buy off the right people. We really were Lords of our own flies," Julian smiled warmly at the memories.

"Most of you are lord of the commons now," The Captain muttered.

"Is that where you met your wife Julian?" Pat asked.

"Which one?" Julian asked.

"How many did you have?" The Captain frowned.

"Just the two. You only make that mistake twice," Julian said.

Robin leaned over to Pat, "What is Eton?"

Pat wasn’t entirely sure how to explain the historic and culturally impact that Eton had on the country, so he – like most other people in the country – said it was a posh school for knobs, which won him a glare from Julian.

The Captain huffed and stood up. "This isn’t as interesting when the groom cant join in. As best man, I decree-"

"Err, pardon?” Julian also rose to his feet, leaving Robin and Pat to sit on the grass alone, “I think you'll find I’m best man."

"You? I don’t think so," The captain scoffed.

"Of course I am, why else would I have spent the last week planning the stag do?" Julian said stubbornly.

"And how did that end up?" The Captain asked, pointedly.

"Now that's not fair-" Julian began.

Pat, keen to conflict solve, leapt to his feet, "Gents, why can't you both be best men?"

"Because the best man is the one responsible for the prank!" Julian said firmly.

"Do we really need a prank after the other day?" Pat asked.

"Exactly. The best man is responsible for everything. With all due respect Julian, you are not reliable," The Captain said firmly.

"Not reliable?! I was a politician Major Pain-In-The-Arse, I ran the country-"

"The country which I saved from the jerries!"

“oh yeah you’re so great you stopped a war single-handedly, I forgot!”

"Guys, don't fight, we've barely started!" Pat urged.

"You telling me! Now is entertainment!" Robin grinned.

Robin sat up eagerly to watch the ensuing argument. Meanwhile Mike threw the net curtain over the top of the arch he had finally gotten to stay up, blissfully unaware of the arguing ghosts around him.

...

"It was the happiest time I ever hads, and it was all because of him," Mary said wistfully.

"Awww!" Kitty cooed.

Alison tilted her head, "You really mean that don’t you Mary?"

"I do," Mary nodded.

"The happiest moment of your life really was when you first tasted cheese," Alison repeated.

“My father stole it just for me!” Mary said proudly.

Alison just pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment, before just letting it go.

"Well what was the happiest moment of your life Alison?" Kitty asked.

"My life? Well there’s plenty to pick from...” Alison said. She had to think for a moment before being able to remember any though. “my actual weddings a big one, obviously, but to be honest I think its the moment Mike proposed."

"Oh tell us! Do, please!" Kitty shouted.

“Hush kitty,” Fanny said softly.

Kitty gave her an apologetic look before staring keenly at Alison again.

"No, it wasn’t interesting. It wasn’t anything big or grand or romantic, not conventionally anyway... See we met in uni right, and we didn’t have any money for our first date so we went to the park. We watched the sunset on the swings and sharing a bottle of cheap vodka," A small smile grew across Alison’s face.

"How are we related?" Fanny muttered.

"It was nice! There’s was no pressure, it was just... it was nice. He took me back there for our anniversary and we were sitting on the swings, and he gave me a present. I thought it was just for our anniversary but when I opened it-" she twisted the ring on her finger affectionately.

Mary and Kitty both cooed immediately together. Fanny wasn’t as vocal about it, but she couldn’t hide the soft smile that she had. It was always sweet to see the affection on a young woman’s face.

"Now that is sweet. My husband proposed through my father, so I knew it was coming. It was still good though. Very respectable," Fanny said.

"Sounds it. Very romantic,” Alison agreed.

"I don’t want to talk about that lying thieving git anymore. Today's a happy day. He’s not!" Fanny said firmly.

There was a small and slightly awkward pause after her snap. In that silence, Alison took a swig straight from the bottle of her wine.

...

Pat, desperate not to end up with another Robin-Thomas situation, pulled Julian back by his blazer so he could stand in between them and cry, "Why don't you do contest?"

Both of the other gentlemen paused. Robin’s shoulders sagged. No one fought anymore, it was really boring around here now. the two gentlemen shared a look and then looked back down at pat.

"A contest? What kind of contest?" The Captain asked.

“Oh, err,” Pat stammered, "Best man do best prank. Each of you prank Mike, best one wins."

"Pranks? But we just agreed-" The Captain began.

"If you're being a chicken I win by default," Julian warned.

The Captain clenched his jaw. "Fine. I'll thrash you at this silly contest and I'll prove to that pranking is not what being best man is all about."

"I’ve been planning this prank all week. Youve got no chance!" Julian sneered.

"I be judge-" The Captain began.

"Hang on, I think I should be the judge," Pat interrupted.

"Hey why not me?!" Robin argued.

"Its not a comment on your abilities Robin mate, but there needs to be boundaries in pranking. Rules!" Pat said.

"Best rules, no rules!" Robin grinned.

"Not here though. There has to be some rules," Pat said.

"Like what?" Julian asked suspiciously.

"Like, well, if your prank results in injury, you’re disqualified," Pat said.

"Oh but those are the best ones!" Julian groaned.

"No injuries! And Alison can't find out about this. I promised her I'd make sure nothing went wrong so I'll get in trouble if she finds out," Pat warned.

"So no using Alison and no injuries? This seems impossible," Julian said.

"Well if you’re too scared-" The Captain jeered.

"I never said that! You’re on sir!" Julian declared.

Robin grinned eagerly as Julian and the Captain reached up to shake hands above Pat’s head.

...

"Have you ever been married Mary?" Alison asked curiously.

"Me? Oh, no. I was too busy working as a maid to find a partner, and then I was an old maid and someone accused me of witchcraft," Mary said.

There was a puff of black smoke above her head when she mentioned the accusation, and none of them wanted to ask anything else because they knew she didn’t like talking about it.

"You died before you fell in love?" Kitty asked, quietly.

"Its fine, I had my cheese," Mary shrugged.

"I loved our stable boy, but my father forbid us, so it didn't come to anything," Kitty said.

Fanny hummed as though this was as everyday occurrence than the two of them. even Mary looked as though she understood. Alison had an idea why it wasn’t allowed, but she didn’t want to accept that.

"Why not?" she asked.

“because he was beneath us socially,” kitty said sadly.

“what? That’s awful!” Alison said.

"Because it wasn’t proper in our time. You and Mike are lucky to live in your time. You can love whoever you love in your time," Fanny said gently.

"Not everyone has that benefit," Thomas interrupted.

He had walked in unnoticed and now stood behind the girls as though he had been waiting for a chance to speak. The girls were at varying degrees of surprise to see him, but none of them looked particularly pleased.

"Thomas? I thought all the men were out on the stag do," Alison said.

"I don’t see anything worth celebrating there. I've finished my verse Alison," Thomas said.

"Again? don’t you knows how take a hint?" Mary asked.

Alison however leapt to her feet and grinned at him, "Excellent, lets hear it!"

"Really?" Fanny asked in surprise.

All three of the girls looked utterly baffled at her eagerness to hear Thomas’s poetry. Even Mary and Kitty moved forward to kneel up on the sofa behind Alison to hear better. Fanny just sat back in her chair disapprovingly. Despite their distractions, Thomas cleared his throat and raised his hand to the ceiling.

“I have never known pain such as this! A gunshot is less agony. Death is a blessing, compared to the ache in my heart, to see you marry another. Mine own sweet Alison-"

Alison’s face fell. "Right, hold on Thomas."

"But my verse is not complete," he said.

"Yeah, no, its fine, just listen. Listen. This isn’t what you said you'd write for me," she said.

Kitty and Mary shared a look at that. they both asked the other what Alison could want Thomas to write for her. Alison and Thomas both ignored them rather than answer.

"No, I know, I'm working on that, but this was more pressing," Thomas said quietly.

"No, see, no. Look, I like you Thomas, you're a great guy-" Alison began.

"I love you too, I will make you the happiest woman-” Thomas began.

"No, no, no, lis- listen!” Alison pressed a finger to her lips to shut him up, exactly the way she’d seen Pat do it a dozen times. It worked though. “You’re a great guy, but you aren’t the one I love. Mike is everything to me. He’s my whole world. He’s the reason I had the guts to come here, he’s the reason we stayed, he’s the reason I knew I wasn’t crazy when I started seeing you lot even though no one else could, he’s everything-"

"So romantic!" Kitty gasped.

"Shush Kitty," Mary huffed.

"Thank you Mary. Thomas, you will make someone really happy some day probably, but I don't know who or when, but I know it wont be me. So stop writing me poems, ok?" Alison said gently.

"But-" Thomas began.

"No. No more. None. Ok?" Alison said, sternly.

"You hold my heart so firmly that you've broken it apart... I shall do as you wish... no more poetry. Excuse me..."

Thomas turned on his heels and ran out of the room. Alison winced in anticipation. Then the distant sound of wailing echoed down the corridor. She groaned and turned back to the girls.

"Aw now I feel bad!" she said.

"He had to learn some day, and you let him down far gentler than I would," Fanny said.

"Yes, Thomas knows you love Mike, he’s just desperate for someone to show him any sign of love in return for what he’s giving out, most likely because he was rejected by the lady he loved in life which lead to a duel which ultimately led to his death here, in his own home," Kitty said calmly.

They stared at her as she smiled sweetly.

"That’s very intuitive of you Kitty," Fanny praised.

"Oh goody, I’ve been practicing that for years! Pat said it once and he sounded so smart!" kitty giggled brightly.

"Yeah that makes sense. Pass the wine," Alison said.

...

There’s not much - y’know what, no, there’s no dignity in herding squirrels, and yet that's what The Captain was trying to do as he raced frantically across the lawn. Robin and Julian watched as he roped Pat into helping. They managed to chase three into a group and were cornering them like sheep dogs to get them to race towards Mike. From experience of their own, Julian and Robin did not have high hopes here. To their credit, it caught Mikes attention.  
When the three squirrels turned their fluffy tails and ran straight towards Mike, Mike had a flashback to the moment he saw the deer.  
Mike’s heart pounding against his chest and his hands started shaking. His chest felt like lead. They couldn’t catch any air. his legs tingled as he staggered backwards to get away from them. he didn’t get far before he fell to the ground and started straight at them, gasping for air. the ghosts stared at him.

“Ah…” The Captain breathed as he realised his mistake.

"Shit," Julian muttered.

Pat leapt into action. He had seen this before. Often enough to remember what he was supposed to do anyway. Pat knelt down in front of Mike to try and talk him through it.

“It’s alright mate, you’re gonna be alright. The squirrels are not as dangerous as deer, they won’t hurt you, I promise. we’re just going to breath now ok? short sharp breaths first ok. ready? One – two – three – one – two – three, ok, just like that,” he said in a gentle tone.

The others were repeatedly pointing out how ridiculous he was to think that he could help, and that they should go and find Alison. While Pat breathed however, he tapped Mike’s knee. Mike couldn’t understand or rationalise the cold spot pulsating on his knee cap, but he was already feeling crazy, so he just breathed with the pulsating.

“That’s it, that’s it,” Pat eased. He slowed the tapping slightly, to ease Mike’s breathing. “In through the nose, out through the mouth, just like that.”

As Pat eased him back into rationality, Mike remembered the coping mechanisms he had helped Alison develop in the early days of their relationship. Breathing through exams to keep themselves from panicking was one of the main reasons he had passed. he regained control quickly, so Pat stopped tapping him altogether.

Julian, The Captain and Robin were doing a three way rock-paper-scissors to see who should have to go and fetch Alison when Pat cleared his throat. When they looked up, Mike had calmed down but was still sitting on the grass where he had fallen. He was watching the squirrels race up the old oak tree and far out of harms way.

“Jolly good, well done Pat,” The Captain said.

"I think you not won," Robin said under his breath.

"Now, now, lets not jump to conclusions. You don’t know what Julian will do yet," the Captain said.

He yanked at his collar anyway. the flood of guilt was mixed with shame. A familiar sensation from his lifetime. Julian had moved on now. he was kneeling beside the laptop to type something in. when the current video ended, Mike took a deep breath and crawled over to his laptop. When he saw the words typing themselves in again, his breath shook.

"O-ok, um, I'm clearly not alone... The Captain was it? Yeah, um, hi, what are you putting into YouTube?” he asked the air.

The captain huffed, but he didn’t bother to correct Mike. Mike wouldn’t have heard him anyway.

"Oh drat I spelt it wrong," Julian tutted.

Unfortunately for him, that spelling error caused a lot of suggested text to pop up in the search bar. One word in particular caught Mike’s eye.

"Karaoke? Oh that's a great idea, you wanna do some karaoke with me?" Mike asked eagerly.

"What? No-" Julian began.

"That could be fun," Pat said approvingly.

"What Karaoke?" Robin asked.

"Well Robin its when normal people like you or me-" Pat began.

"I thought you said normal people," Julian interrupted.

The Captain chuckled and nudged him approvingly, "Oh very good, very good."

"I thought so," Julian smiled.

"Anyway, normal people sing along to songs they enjoy on a stage and a microphone and, uh, they make a performance out of it," Pat finished.

Robin frowned. "Singing? But he sing anyway. What make karaoke different?"

"In karaoke the words aren’t in the song, its only the backing music. You supply the words yourself," Pat said.

"Oh... sound dumb," Robin said.

"Look, we'll show you," Pat said.

He forced Julian to press enter. Mike smiled to himself. even though he couldn’t see or hear them, it felt oddly comforting to know that he wasn’t alone.

...

"What they be doing?" Mary asked.

Mary had moved away from the circle of chairs to look out of the window. She could see towards the lake enough to see the boys. Her particular interest was in Pat, who appeared to be playing air drums while Robin was head banging beside him.

"Who?" Alison asked.

"The men be outside... singing?" Mary said, uncertainly.

Alison joined Mary to see what they were up to. It didn’t take her long to figure out what was going on.

She smiled, "Oh, Mike loves karaoke."

"Shall we join them?!" Kitty asked eagerly.

"What, no!" Alison said firmly.

"But if they’re having fun-" Kitty began uncertainly.

"We're a hen night! The hen night doesn’t mix with the stag do until three hens are too drunk to stand and two have gone off with guys they found and the bride is in tears because she’s so deeply in love she cant imagine ever being happy without him, but the stripper was so pretty she considered leaving him for that firefighter," Alison explained, way to specifically.

"Is that what happened on your first hen night?" Fanny asked sternly.

"What - no. No that was my mate Shanade's. On mine... I don’t remember what happened but I woke up hand cuffed to an inflatable flamingo," Alison grinned.

"What be a flamingo?" Mary asked.

“I did learn how to pole dance though,” Alison remembered, amusing herself.

“Oh lovely! What’s that?” Kitty asked.

Alison immediately regretted opening her mouth. “well its a- it, it doesn’t matter.”

“Oh but I love dancing! Will you teach me?” Kitty asked hopefully.

“No! N-no, you wouldn’t like it, you need to be able to touch a pole,” Alison said.

Fanny raised an eyebrow at Alison. Alison avoided eye contact with her.

“Oh curses! Everything requires touch these days! It’s so unfair!” Kitty sulked.

“Do I take it this “pole dancing” is a dance of ill repute?” Fanny asked.

“you… you could say that,” Alison admitted.

“you continue to embarrass the family name. come along. Every women of good breeding must know at least one formal dance,” Fanny declared.

She stood up and put her hands together as if she had made a decision.

“What?” Alison asked, confused.

“The Waltz!” Fanny declared.

“The what?” Alison’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Oh yes, let’s dance!” Kitty squealed.

“I’ve never been dancin’. Maids weren’t allowed to join ins the fancy flapjacks. They did looks so lovely though,” Mary said.

“Then I shall teach you too Mary. Up, up, both of you!” Fanny ushered.

She clapped her hands and ushered them all into place. Fanny took Kitty’s hand to lead by example. Alison reached out to touch Mary but hesitated. Mary silently held up her hand so Alison could hold her palm close to hers, just brushing, but not enough to affect either of them. Fanny nodded approvingly. Alison wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol talking or the situation, but she was starting to enjoy herself.

“Right. The waltz!” she announced.

...

The last few bars of the song played out over the microphone and ended triumphantly. Mike burst into laughter and kicked the air as high as he could.

“Woo! That’s worked up an appetite. What’d you say Captain, ten minute snack break?” he grinned.

The Captain nodded, “yes, yes, very good.”

Not that Mike knew if he had agreed or not, he approved anyway. Mike picked up his laptop in case it started raining, and headed inside. He paused at the end of the path he had created to look back at his work. it was really starting to come together. he grinned. Alison was going to be so proud.

“Well this has gone much better than I expected,” Pat grinned.

“That’s because I’m in charge Patrick. Stag events need someone responsible in charge to keep things fun and safe,” The Captain said, smugly.

Julian huffed. “whatever.”

He wandered off towards the house to make the most of this new break they’d been given. Thomas had been sulking in the kitchen, because from the kitchen he could hear the girls squealing with laughter upstairs. Then Mike came in. Mike could over hear Alison, but he could hear the joy in her tone. He couldn’t help smiling too. he loved hearing her happy. That only made Thomas feel worse. Then, when he wandered into the pantry, Thomas had a dastardly idea. When Julian wandered past the kitchen door, it felt like fate.

"Julian, I say, Julian! I need your help."

"I'm not in the mood for poetry problems Thomas, I’m trying to think of a really great stag do prank, something greater than what we did to old Higgins in 92' now that was a prank-"

"Its not poetry that’s the problem, I need your help," Thomas repeated.

"What, what do you want, what?!" Julian huffed impatiently.

"I need you to bolt the pantry door," Thomas said.  
Julian raised an eyebrow at him. "The pantry?"

"Yes."

"But that’s where mike is."

"Yes."

"He'll be trapped. If no one finds him everyone will worry. He might be in there all night. he might even miss the ceremony - oh yes! Now that’s a prank!" Julian’s eyes lit up eagerly, as though he had forgotten everything that had just happened.

"You'll do it?" Thomas sounded surprised.

“To score off The Captain and be best man?! Of course, lets go!"

…

After a day of drinking and talking about love (as well as waking up before she was ready) Alison was exhausted. She collapsed on the bed and reached out for Mike. He still wasn’t there. that wasn’t as much as a surprise than in the morning. They were often in bed at different times these days. The work on the house was demanding and tedious and it took ages to do. besides, she’d see him in the morning. Her heart was glowing as she thought about that, and slipped into a fantastic sleep.


	6. Ceremony

When Mike still hadn’t appeared by the morning the only two people not panicking and rushed off their feet trying to find him were Julian and Thomas. Well Kitty wasn’t panicking, but she was rushed off her feet anyway. she was just unable to stand still to be honest. She skipped after Alison as Alison threw books off of the library shelf as though he might be behind them.

"Alison are you and mike playing hide and seek?" Kitty asked.

Alison was clearly flustered and only half listening, "What? No kitty we don’t have time to play anything!"

"Then why is Mike locked in the pantry?" Kitty asked.

“what? Look kitty I don’t – wait – the pantry?” Alison repeated urgently.

“Yes, I just saw him. the door’s been locked. I thought you must have done it since none of us can touch things,” kitty said.

All eyes turned to Julian. He suddenly felt the same way he had when he pushed Alison out of the window. When he was alive one of the people in charge of spin for his campaign had said that scandal followed him and would destroy him if he didn’t get there first. Well she was half right. it killed him, but here he was, still letting it follow. Alison ran to the pantry as fast as she could.

“I’m not best man anymore am i?” Julian asked.

Although he already knew the answer there was a resounding, "no,” from everyone else in the room.  
Julian accepted this with as much grace as a conservative MP ever could have.

Alison heaved the pantry door open to find Mike laying across the floor, using an old fabric sack as a sleeping bag. In the heat of the moment she thought he was dead.

"Oh my God- mike!" She yelled.

She fell to her knees beside him, waking him up. He rolled his head into her lap and blinked slowly at the new light.

"Oh hi," he grunted. He sat up in his potato sack and rubbed his eyes, "is it morning already?"

“Mike are you ok?!” Alison asked urgently, "are you alright?! I was so worried about you!”

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I mean at first I was worried. I couldn’t get out y’know, you panic a little. But I had my laptop – Wifi in here’s not great so none of the message I sent you got through, so I watched some Netflix, ate some cheese – we’re out of cheese by the way – and then, since it’s chilly in here, I used this as a cover, and then I just fell asleep,” he explained.

“So… so you’re ok? you’re not sick or anything, you’re not hurt?” Alison asked again.

“honestly, I feel kind of relaxed. Yeah, it’s weird, but being trapped really forced me to just sit down and think about things instead of rushing around trying to fix everything. I’ve written my vows!"

Mike gave her a half grin and lifted a banana skin up to show it to her. There was writing along the skin that had been carved in with a toothpick.

“that’s – that’s a banana skin mike,” Alison said.

“My laptop ran out of battery,” he shrugged.

Alison laid a hand on his forehead anxiously. "You could have hypothermia, should we go to the doctors or something?”

“what?! No. no, today’s our day! I’m fine, I promise,” mike urged.

He took her hand from off his head and held it hard to assure her he was alright. The pantry was a lot different to a conventional fridge. There was enough air able to move through the room so he could breath, and it wasn’t as cold so he was ultimately alright. Pat tried to tell Alison this, but she didn’t want to hear it. Alison sighed heavily and sat down beside him.

“this day just seems cursed or something. I keep having this feeling something’s going to happen to you and I don’t know what I’d do-”

“hey, hey, come here. Look at me. I’m fine. Deer, squirrels and the cold couldn’t hurt me. You fell out of a window and you’re fine. We’re not cursed. We’re indestructible,” Mike winked. Alison snorted as she tried not to laugh but couldn’t. She was just relieved that he was safe. He nudged her playfully. "now go get ready. We’ve got a marriage to renew!”

Alison was reluctant to leave him but Kitty was so desperate to start getting ready that Alison felt as though she didn’t have much choice. Before she knew it she was lying on her stomach, groping underneath the bed for the suitcase she had stashed there. She pulled it out and dropped it onto the bed.

It had been a very long time since Alison even looked at her wedding dress. She ran a hand along the delicate lace at the shoulder, and let her finger trail across the dainty pearl-shaped buttons. She felt the butterflies fluttering in her stomach again, just as she had last time. She lifted it clean out of the suitcase and held it to her chest. With the lack of money for junk food and plenty of exercise from working two job, Alison had lost weight without realising. She wasn’t sure how well this was going to fit now.

"Can we comes in now?! We want to see the dress!" Mary called through the door.

"Yes, do let us in Alison, we do so want to see it!" Kitty sounded fit to burst.

"Yeah, yeah you can come in," Alison called back.

She had pulled the zip of her dress up as best she could but there was still a little way to go. Even so it was sagging in places. Kitty was in the room before Alison could even blink. Mary followed swiftly. Alison held out her arms to show off the dress.

"What do you think?"

"Its wonderful!" Kitty whispered.

Her voice was tight with emotion. She grasped the collar of her dress desperately, blinking away the tears that blurred her eyes as she stared.

"You looks like a proper lady," Mary agreed.

"Fanny will be pleased," Alison joked.

As if she had heard her name, Fanny came through the wall to see what was going on. When her gaze fell on Alison, her jaw fell.

"Oh! Oh Alison! You look... oh dear girl..." Fanny breathed. Her eyes welled up and she covered her mouth with her fingertips, utterly gobsmacked.

"Wow. I’ve never seens her speechless," Mary said.  
"Well you do be beautiful Alison," Kitty beamed.

"Yes. Yes indeed. A proper... beauty. I'm... I'm so..." fanny's voice shook. Her hand moved from her mouth to her chest as she trailed off, awed.

"Proud?" Alison offered, hopefully.

"Is it a bit too... frumpy... do you think?" Fanny asked uncertainly.

Alison's arms collapsed to her sides. "I was worried about that. I think I've lost weight. It feels slightly too loose now."

"No need to be worried. I helped sew the lady of the manor's ball gowns when I was a girl. I can help you see the grown smaller," Mary offered helpfully.

"What - no! No, no, I’m not touching the dress. I cant sew and this... this is too important to risk," Alison hugged her waist protectively.

"I quite agree. We need Patrick," Fanny stated.

"Why?" Alison asked.

"Pat! Come here will you?!" Kitty yelled.

Pat came through the wall as though he had also been waiting outside to be allowed in. He had one hand covering his eyes and was reaching out to try and feel his way to make sure he didn’t hit anything. He would have passed through it if he had, but some habits are hard to break, even in death.

"I'm not looking. Cant see the bride before the wedding!" Pat promised

"That's only for the groom Pat," Alison said.

"Oh yeah... then are you all decent?" Pat asked.

"Yes," all four girls chorused.

"Then I’m going to lower my hand, ok? In three, two, one..." even after his countdown Pat waited for a second more before finally lowering his hand. He gasped gently when he saw her. "Wow! You’re as pretty as a flower Alison."

"Thanks Pat," Alison smiled.

Alison hadn't expected such adulation from her new housemates at something as old as her wedding dress, but she was flattered by it.

"Pat, do you know where a safety pin is?" Fanny asked.

"Of course. There’s always one in the bathroom cabinet," Pat said.

While Alison wandered into the bathroom to check the cupboard above the sink, the others continued talking. Alison ran her fingers through her hair and wondered if she had enough to sweep it up into some kind of bun or something to get it out of her face.

"where on this dress would you put a pin to pull it back enough to fit?" Fanny asked.

"Well where does it sag?" Pat asked.

"I think it looks lovely even where it sags," Kitty said.

"It be sagging between the shoulders," Mary said.

When Alison returned she had a safety pin in her hand. She turned to show the others her zip so they could tell her where it needed pinning.

"Oh yes just- may I?" Pat paused. He waited for Alison to nod before brushing against the zip at the back of her dress. "Here. I'd put a safety pin between here and here to make a smaller seam and make it tighter."

Alison had to pull her arm at an odd angle to reach that spot. "Here?"

"Down a bit," pat said.

"Here?"

"Down just a little."

"Here?!" Alison asked impatiently.

"There. Just pinch from here to here and push the pin through," pat poked her gently as he spoke.

It was an awkward angle that her arm needed to be at in order to make the pin go through the fabric, but she did it. Fanny tilted her head and hummed dubiously.

"Well its a little unseemly, but does it fit better now?" Fanny asked.

"It feels far more comfortable. Thanks guys," Alison said.

"Any time," kitty beamed.

Alison ran her hand along her waist and took a deep breath. She could feel butterflies starting to flutter into her stomach once again. Nerves were starting to bubble up when she looked at herself in the cracked floor length mirror they had dragged into the bedroom. She needed a distraction.

"Pat could you please check on the boys? I don't want Julian and The Captain fighting today," Alison asked.

"I'll keep them in line, don’t you worry," pat winked.

"Thanks pat," Alison sighed with relief.

It wasn’t hard to find The Captain and Julian. The Captain had been dragging Julian around all day to make sure he couldn’t get up to mischief. Now they were both waiting for Mike by the lake side. The Captain was stood beneath the arch, Julian was sitting on the grass beside a chair with an open laptop at the start of the aisle.

"Are we all ready down here?" Pat asked cheerily.

"Michael’s gone to fetch the priest. He's put Julian in charge of music," The Captain said.

"Has he? How’s he done that?" Pat asked in surprise.

"He asked me to show I was here by tapping the keyboard so I made Julian do so. Then he asked if I would be willing to stand at the end of the aisle and press play when I saw Alison coming. So Julian is doing so," The Captain said.

He tried not to sound bitter, but he couldn’t help being jealous of Julian's ability to touch things; it had been so long since he'd been able to touch anything. Pat turned back to look at Julian.

"Julian, we're all watching you y'know. Make us proud," Pat warned cheerfully.

"Don't patronize me Pat, I know what I'm doing," Julian said firmly.

"Don't let us down," Pat repeated.

He turned back to look at The Captain. With no eyes on him Julian momentarily looked guilty. He quickly swallowed that back though.

"I wish I had a carnation for my lapel. I feel underdressed," the captain said quietly.

"You're more dressed than Julian," pat joked.

"I heard that," Julian said loudly.

"Sorry mate," Pat said. Then he frowned. "Where's Robin?"

"He's guarding the bouquet. The last one wilted so he made Julian remake it yesterday and now he's guarding it to stop it wilting," The captain explained.

"Oh right. That’s nice of him," Pat said.

"Is it?" The Captain muttered sarcastically.

"Wait until you see Alison! Oh! Mike's a lucky guy," Pat grinned.

The captain cleared his throat. "Yes, I'm sure."

The Captain had spotted Mike returning from the front of the house, guiding the priest to the aisle they had created. Mike was dressed sharply. His deep blue suit curved along his features neatly, his shirt tucked behind his belt, and his tie hidden under his blazer. He's even picked a white rose from the garden to pin to his lapel. Mike looked almost dashing.

"Oh doesn’t he look smart?" Pat beamed.

"Yes. Very fine in his suit. Very handsome," the captain raised his chin and tightened the grip on his baton.

"Have you checked on Thomas yet? I take it you’ve been put on babysitting duties?" Julian asked.

"Its not babysitting Julian, it's... supervising," pat lied.

"Potato potaho," Julian shrugged.

"I'll check in on him now, where is he?" Pat asked.

"He said he was going to see Nigel's whistle concert," the captain said.

"Oh right!" Pat said cheerily, before pausing. "What?"  
"I haven’t the foggiest idea," the captain said.

"Nigel's Rebecca's husband, they're down in the basement with Tony and the crew," Julian said breezily. He looked up as he felt the stares from the other two burning into him. "what? Those guys are the only ones around here who know how to poker face. Sometimes I need a challenge."

"Oh well he'll be no trouble down there," Pat shrugged.

"How long do you think, um..." the priest frowned hard as he tried to remember her name.

"Alison," Mike said.

"Alison will be?" The priest asked.

"Not long, I'm Sure," Mike promised.

...

"Why have none of them come to coax me back?! I have not been seen all day, have none of them missed me?!" Thomas demanded.

"We certainly haven’t," one of the plague ghosts grumbled.

"Yeah, you’re gonna have to pipe down mate because the show will start soon," another warned.

"The whistling! That's hardly a show, he’s practicing in front of all of you!" Thomas huffed.

"Well he cant very well practice anywhere else can he?" Another asked.

"Yes! Yes he can! He can leave the boiler room! All of you can!" Thomas stressed.

"But why would we? There’s nothing out there that's any more interesting than what’s down here," another said.

"Fine. Fine! Prove it to me! Proceed with the whistles," Thomas demanded.

"Hey, I'm not your personal minstrel mate! I’m an artist in my own right! You can wait until I'm ready, got it?" Nigel snipped.

"Yeah!" The others chorused.

Put in his place Thomas sank into his seat. "Sorry," he grumbled.

...

"Do you think its time?" Alison asked nervously.

The girls had no idea but Pat popped through the wall to answer them. "Mike's got the priest in position, we're ready when you are."

Alison nodded. She took a breath and blew it out gently.

"Wait!" Fanny cried. Everything froze when she did.

"Alison dear, I want you to have something. Its in the bottom drawer of that dresser."

Fanny pointed to a drawer that was at the bottom of the old wardrobe. Alison gave her a suspicious look but followed her direction. She had to yank hard to pull the drawer out. It almost broke as she did but the jolt made a small tissue wrapped parcel rolled to the front of the drawer. Alison glanced up at Fanny. Fanny nodded. Alison picked up the small parcel and unwrapped it curiously.

"I hope he didn’t pawn this too," Mary whispered.

Fanny's eyes widened in alarm. That thought hadn't crossed her mind. She almost collapsed with relief when Alison picked up the necklace inside.  
It was a beautiful thing. A single pendant sat at the centre of an aged silver chain. It was an intricate web of thin silver bars blooming in a floral design encased in a circle of diamonds. Between curves of silver circles there were diamonds in butterfly shapes that added to floral effect. All of it was held together by a circle diamond gleaming at the centre of the web. It was delicate, light, and shone gloriously.

"Oh... oh it's beautiful! Really Fanny, its beautiful, thank you," Alison breathed.

"I wore it on my wedding day. A gift from my mother. Its only right it goes to another Button," Fanny explained.

"So did you just hide jewellery all over the house in case you needed money later?" Pat asked as Alison clipped the necklace on.

"I think its perfectly obvious my husband could not be trusted with it," Fanny said pointedly.

"Fair. Fair," Pat nodded.

"Can we go now please?! I can hardly wait!" Kitty squealed.

They obliged Kitty, as they often did, and Alison opened the bedroom door to head for the garden. Kitty followed giddily. She and Mary followed at a step behind the train that they couldn’t touch so they could act like bridesmaids. She got to the foot of the stairs and Robin leapt out at her. Alison yelped. Robin wasn't trying to scare her this time, he was just rather excited. They all were.

"I got you blue!" Robin declared.

He pointed eagerly to the pot of flowers sat on the table by the door. The bouquet had been remade so there was less flowers in this one so that if it had wilted they could replace them quickly. The base of this bouquet was daisies. Large, open circles of white that they could slip other flowers around, which they did. Between the daisies were pretty blue cornflowers, like crumbled tissue, filling in the gaps. The rest of the gaps were filled with beautiful blue and pink forget-me-nots and small round white cow parsley. It was still tied up with the royal blue ribbon Kitty had let them borrow. Even Alison had to admit they had put effort into their task.

"Thanks Robin. They're... well they’re lovely," Alison said warmly.

"Err, I helped," Fanny was quick to point out.

Alison stroked the pendant on her chest to remind Fanny she had already thanked her once. Begrudgingly Fanny understood. Pat smiled warmly.

"You look lovely too Alison. Really lovely. Are you ready?" He asked eagerly.

Alison picked up the bouquet. She ran her fingers along the ribbon, smiling. "Its weird, I'm actually rather nervous! Its silly but it all seems so... real I guess..."

"You'll do fine chuck. You two belong together," pat assured her.

He seemed so certain that everything was going to be fine that he calmed Alison without really trying. He had done a lot for her this week. In fact, he always tried to be helpful.

"Pat I know I said it was silly because it wasn’t a real wedding, but now its here and it all feels so real, and I feel slightly sick, and you're a rather good candidate for a father figure, and well, I guess what I'm trying to say is..." Alison trailed off, unsure of what to say.

Pat stared at her, his wide blue eyes shining hopefully. "Yes chuck? What is it you wanted to say?"

Alison smiled back. "Pat... will you give me away?"

Pat's bottom lip trembled which made his moustache twitch. His eyes welled up as his beam grew wide enough to dim the sun.

"Oh look! Ghosts can cry!" He squeaked.

There was a moment of sentimental laughter as they tried to prevent him from crying, but he couldn’t stop grinning. He held out his arm, and barely even winced when Alison took it. Even through her hand ended up back at her side almost immediately, they both felt closer.

She turned her head to smile at the girls. "Are you ready ladies?"

"Oh I'm so excited!" Kitty beamed.

"Its a very fancy dress isn’t it?! She looks like a real fancy flapjack doesn’t she?!" Mary said to Alison.

"No Mary dear. She looks like a Button." Fanny said, puffing her chest out with pride. "Now go out there, and knock him dead."

Robin and Fanny hurried to their seats ahead of Alison as she wandered towards the aisle. When it came into view ahead of her, Alison gasped. Mike had put blood, sweat, and tears - literally - into this, and it was worth it.  
Each of the stolen metal hooks that formed the aisle now held small silver lanterns, with flickering battery powered candles inside. The grass was littered with delicate white petals to lead the way down to the arch at the end. The lace curtain was wrapped across the top of the square arch frame like a canopy. It swept across the gap, swaying gently in the breeze and masking the bare wood. In the sunlight the lace had a pale glow that was utterly glorious.

The same light glittered across the waters of the lake. Framed by the trees at the land edges beyond the lake, the entire view laid out before her was wondrous.  
Then to top it all off Mike was standing under his canopy with the priest and the captain. He was looking at her like she was the only person in the entire world that mattered. The exact way he had when she did this last time. Her heart swelled. She barely noticed the sudden soar of music as Julian pressed play. The string quartet played the bridal march with such grace it seemed to be coming from nature itself.

"Wait!" Julian said urgently as she passed.

Pulled from her thoughts Alison hesitated. In the pressure of the moment, Julian only had to try twice to touch the zip, and the second time he zipped it all the way up.

It would have been a redeeming moment for him if he hadn’t chuckled and added, "It's been a while since I zipped a dress up and now down."

"Don't be a creep," Pat warned.

"I told you, you could look beautiful if you tried," Julian winked.

"Alright, shut up now mate," pat warned again.

Alison said nothing. She didn’t want the priest to think she was insane. Enough people around here thought that already. When she got to the top of the aisle The Captain smiled at her, almost proudly.

"Alison. Lovely as always," he said.

She smiled back gratefully. Then she took Mike's hand, and grinned. "Hi!"

"You look... wow..." mike breathed wordlessly.

"You look so handsome in that suit," Alison grinned.

"You're... wow..." mike repeated.

Alison laughed brightly which made Mike laugh and the others smiled affectionately. Weddings really did brighten the mood.  
The Captain and Pat stepped back to let them take centre stage and joined the other ghosts as guests.

"Were going to have to keep an eye on him. He's getting beyond control," the captain whispered to Pat.

Pat glanced at Julian. He was staying close to the laptop so he could reach if they needed any more music.

"Let them have their day," Pat whispered back.

Both of them turned back to watch the ceremony. Almost immediately afterwards they were distracted by Thomas hurrying down the aisle.

"Alison!" He panted breathlessly.

"Oh lord," the captain muttered.

Alison glanced over but said nothing. Silently she willed him to go away. Pat stepped forward to intercept.

"Thomas mate, come stand with us," he whispered.

"Don’t worry Alison, I've written your vows like I promised. I'll say them to you and you repeat them to... just like the pastor," Thomas promised.

Alison breathed a sigh of relief. She tried not to smile again because the priest was speaking to her and she didn’t want to seem distracted.

Finally he got to, "If anyone here objects to the union-"  
"You can probably skip that bit," Mike said.

"Well i think we should still do this properly even if there's no one to see, but we can skip it if you wish," The priest explained.

"No, its fine, go on," Alison said.

Thomas perked up. His heart raced. It felt like a call to arms. Alison smiled warmly at Mike, and she glanced over at the crowd awkwardly. She felt like she was on a pedestal (which she was to be fair) which was slightly embarrassing. Thomas misunderstood the glance and smile.

"If anyone here objects to this union, speak now or forever hold your peace," the priest said.

Despite the fact no one could possibly object, there was a slight hesitation in the air. For a spilt second, everything was fine.

Then Thomas leapt forward. "I object!"

Alison's shoulders sagged, "Oh for G-"

"I’m sorry but its part of the ceremony, it has to be done, and you did say-" the preist began.

"Yes, sorry, of course, I didn’t mean... sorry, go ahead," Alison muttered sheepishly.

"Alison, I must confess to you now something that I have been holding in my heart for far too long," Thomas clutched his heart to emphasise this, "From the moment that I first laid eyes on you, you took my breath away. I know that you’re with Michael but he is not the one for you my sweet. He cannot possibly feel as deeply, as powerfully, as ardently about you as I do. Alison. Dear, sweet Alison. I love-"

"Very well then. As no one objects we can move on," the priest interrupted.

Thomas's face fell. "Actually I’m in the middle of-"

"Yes, lets," Alison agreed.

"But-" Thomas whispered.

"The vows," the priest continued.

The Captain rolled his eyes. Kitty and Mary shared a look, as did Julian and Robin. Fanny tutted. Only Pat reached out to squeeze Thomas's shoulder and show a little sympathy. It almost meant he could pull Thomas back into the crowd to make less of a fool of himself.

"Alison, your vows please," the priest said.

Heart broken, Thomas cleared his throat. "I made a promise and I intend to keep it..." he took a deep breath and said, "Dearest Alis- Mike..."

"Mike," Alison echoed.

"Fate has brought us together, although cruelly a twist in time keeps us apart," Thomas continued.  
The Captain frowned.

"Fate has brought us together," Alison echoed.

Thomas paused, waiting for her to continue, but she didn’t. In fact she was thinking about what she actually wanted to say. She licked her lips thoughtfully.

"Although I am dead, my love for you lives as stubbornly-" Thomas began.

"Mike, I didn’t write my vows," Alison confessed.

That shut Thomas up, but the other ghosts murmured in realisation. Most agreed it wasn’t very nice to make Thomas of all people write her vows for her. Except Julian who thought it was hilarious.

"I didn’t write my vows because I had no idea what I wanted to say. You're right. We've been through so much since we last stood here and I don’t know how to sum up how much you still mean to me after all of that. In sickness and in health, in good times and bad, for rich- well for poorer anyway, you and I have stuck together. You make me stronger than I thought I could ever be. When I was scared, you made me brave. Sometimes you drive me crazy, but you’re the sanest person in my life at the moment, and you make me feel sane even when everything else in the world doesn't... As long as we're together, I really believe we can survive anything. I love you."

"I love you too," Mike smiled.

"Your vows mike?" The priest said.

"Ah, well, you've taken my first point from me. Great minds really do think a like... but Ally, I know I sound sappy telling you I love you all the time, especially recently, but its because I do. You’re wonderful. You’re smart and funny and brilliant, and even after everything you’ve been through you’re still brave enough to carry on. You said I made you feel brave, but you inspired me to. You inspire everything I do. Every time I wake up next to you I think I'm the luckiest guy alive-"

"You are," Thomas muttered miserably.

"And I am. Because I get to have you as my wife. And you’re right. We are really strong together. I mean, we're as strong as this thing!" Mike leaned back to knock the wood of the canopy arch, grinning, "and we always will be, for as long as were together."

Alison smiled. Her chest was tight with anxiety again though, because when he knocked the wood, she heard something groan. The Priest cleared his throat again to continue his part, but Alison was glancing at the wood above her. It was still making an unsettling sound. She took a small side step to see what the noise was...

_creak..._

"You may now kiss the bride-"

**CRASH**

"GOOD LORD!"

"OH GEES!"

"GOSH!"

"OH MY!"

"GOLLY!"

"Jesus!"

"Wasn’t me!"

_"MIKE!"_


	7. Headaches and Hospital Beds

Alison perched on the edge of an empty hospital bed. She swung her feet gently she tapped her converse to bounce them off one another.  Everything felt less magical without her wedding dress on. The monitors around her beeped solemnly. Its clinical medical smell made her queasy. She hung her head low, trying to swallow back the ball in her throat.  
Then the toilet flushed.

Mike came wandering out. "Budge up."

Alison budged up on the bed so he could lie down beside her. She laid down against his chest so he slung an arm around her shoulders to hold her close.

"You scared me. Idiot," she said.

"Aw babe, I said I’m sorry," mike urged.

"I don’t know what I'd do without you... you were dead for two whole minutes!" Alison said.

"Ah, so they say. I don’t remember any of it," Mike smirked.

"I was so scared! Is this how you felt when I was in that coma?" Alison asked.

"That gut wrenching agony where you don’t want to be alive if it means being without your partner but they’re clinging to life so you have to too? Nope," Mike joked.

"It sucks. I’m sorry I did this to you," Alison said earnestly.

"It wasn’t your fault. You fell out of the window. You can't help that," Mike shrugged.

He rolled his head to kiss her temple and assure her that he was ok. She entwined her fingers with his affectionately.

"At least I didn’t have to be put in a coma," he teased.

She elbowed him instinctively. Mike hissed in pain. Alison gasped and apologised repeatedly. Mike laughed it off and pulled her back to settle against his chest. She was a lot more careful not to hurt him, which felt a little too tense to be comfortable.  Mike gave up trying.

"Did you bring my clothes?" Mike asked.

"Yeah," Alison said.

"Then let me get dressed and we can go home. You're driving," Mike winked.

Alison laughed softly and saluted sarcastically. "Yes sir."

Mike sat up to try and reach his clothes. Alison stood up to grab the bag from the visitors chair and hand it to him. Mike took it and paused as he reached the bathroom door.

"I wonder if the ghosts missed me," he joked.

"I think they’re all busy trying to figure out if Julian had anything to do with this," Alison said.

Mike laughed, and then paused. "He didn’t, did he?"

Alison shrugged. "I think he was busy with Pat trying to explain to Mary that you can't use swan eggs to make a wedding cake. I don't see how he could."

He hadn’t. Julian hadn’t even touched the arch Mike built, partly because he loathed physically demanding work, and partly because everyone had been rushing him off his feet doing tasks for them so he didn’t have time to. That didn’t stop The Captain repeatedly demanding to know what he had done to cause the collapse. The only person who was sure it was nothing to do with Julian was Robin.

"You might have driven them out forever now! Then what will we do?" Kitty cried.

"I’m sure they'll be back kitty," Pat insisted.

"How do you know that?!" Kitty demanded.

"They might not bes. Twice they’ve been hurts now. I wouldn’t come back," Mary said unhelpfully.

Thomas eyed Julian suspiciously. "You really do anything?"

Robin scowled at Thomas and laid a hand firmly on Julian's shoulder. "He not do it. He say he not do it, he not do it!"

"Thank you Robin! I didn’t do anything!" Julian repeated in irritation.

"Nothing except drive away my bestiest friend in the whole world!" Kitty wailed.

"They'll be back! They have no where else to go," The Captain said.

"It's been three days since Alison left, I miss her terribly!" Kitty cried.

"Terribly," Thomas sighed.

"Oh shut up Thomas, when she does come back, she will not be back for you!" Fanny huffed.

Robin was the first to hear the squeal of the wheels as the little green car turned off of the tarmac road and onto the gravel.

"OH, OH, ERR, SQUARE - BOX - BOX ON WHEELS! ERRR!" He shouted desperately as the word alluded him.

"Car, Robin," Pat said. Then he did a double take, "CAR?!"

Kitty was already gone in a cloud of dust. She was waiting on the doorstep vibrating with excitement. The others came dashing out after her, crowding the front door as they usually did.

Alison smiled to herself. As strange and impossible as it had seemed when she first saw them, it felt good to see them again. Like coming home to a family eager to see them.

Mike leaned forward in his seat, frowning hard through the windscreen at the sight before him.

"Who are they?" He muttered.

"Who?" Alison asked.

She glanced around to see if she was missing someone who was hidden behind the crowd of ghosts.

"Them," Mike said, nodding towards the doorstep.

Alison frowned. "Who?"

"You’re kidding right? The people in fancy dress Alison! There, on the doorstep!" Mike urged.

Alison frowned deeper as Mike stared at the doorstep. She glanced between Mike and the ghosts and back.  
The penny dropped.  
So did her jaw.

"Come out here now Alison! We've missed you, hurry up!" Kitty yelled.

"Did you do this? Why do they know your name?" Mike asked, baffled.

Alison spluttered some noises but she couldn’t form a coherent sentence let alone an explanation. Without an explanation, Mike looked back at the crowd by his front door. The burnt maid, the scout leader with the arrow in his neck, the gent in the suit but no trousers, the cave man, the grey lady, the poet, the Captain...  
Exactly as Alison had described them all...  
His stomach lurched as a cold sensation flooded down his back. The shock of a realisation he wished he wasn’t facing.  
Acting on pure auto pilot, Mike opened the car door. Alison opened hers and leapt out. She froze though, clinging to the door for support and just staring. Shocked. Horrified. Relieved. Now she was certain she wasn't crazy, because she wasn’t alone.

Mike staggered over to the ghosts, and held out his hand. He swallowed hard and opened his mouth.

"H-h-h-hi.... I'm M-mike," he stammered.

The ghosts glanced between each other and Alison, mumbling in uncertainty and surprise. Pat beamed. He pushed past The Captain and grabbed Mike's hand eager to introduce himself. His hand swiped straight through, chilling it and making himself feel queasy. Mike whimpered as it did.

"Hello! My names Pat! Oh behalf of my fellow ghosts-"

As soon as Pat said the word, that was it. Mike swayed slightly. Alison dashed forward to try and catch him as he fainted. She couldn't hold him up though, so she had to slowly sink and help him to lie on the gravel. She covered her mouth fearfully as the ghosts encircled them, fascinated.

Pat looked over at Alison. "Was it something I said?"


End file.
